Three Christmases

One good thing about an artificial tree is that
it can be put up any time.

We picked my daughter up from college last Friday. On Saturday, she baked cookies and attended a family party with my husband. I stayed behind because the party venue had cats (I'm allergic) and my own home venue was festively adorned with end-of-semester papers to be graded. Since then, my college kid has gone shopping, wrapped gifts, visited with friends and exercised her right to stay up late and sleep in. 

Back in November, before my daughter returned to school from Thanksgiving break, my husband suggested that we put up the tree. In fact, he made this suggestion even before she came home. I pooh-poohed him -- put the tree up in November? Long story short, he was right. We put it up the Friday after Thanksgiving, all together as a family, and it has been lit every day since. In the intervening time, my husband has put up outside lights, purchased and wrapped gifts and written his portion of the Christmas cards.

Which brings me to the third Christmas.

Since last Friday, I've graded stacks of papers, administered a final, graded more stacks of papers and calculated grades. In between, I've written a Christmas letter and a few cards, wrapped a few gifts, tried to keep the competing Christmas and end-of-semester piles in check, done some online shopping and basically tried to fit Christmas into the cracks of the end-of-semester stuff while ignoring the date on the calendar. If I take my blinders off and truly consider how much I need to do in the next three days, I will be unfit to live with.

So, I keep checking things off. My family helps (see "she baked cookies" and "his portion of the Christmas cards" above) and will help even more if I just ask them. The problem is, my lists are in my head and I don't completely -- hang on a second, I want to text my husband and ask him if he can pick something up --

Know what I need to have done.

And that's pretty much how my brain is working right now.

Chipping away at things really does work for me, but there are times when it drives those around me (okay, my husband) a little crazy. And, to be honest, there are times that I question its efficacy. I was just telling a friend this morning that in the muddled middle -- when it's all started and nothing is finished -- this idea of dedicating a little bit of time to everything, rather than tackling one task from start to finish, can feel foolish and overwhelming.

Then again, this time of year seems to feel like that no matter what plan I have in place. It's all too easy to let the lists expand to not only fill, but also overflow the time available, and to forget that more isn't necessarily better. 

Chipping away helps me dial it back, but I'm thinking I also need to make better use of my available resources. For some reason, it's just now occurring to me that my family has reached the stage where it  consists of three adults. That I can text my husband or my daughter and say, "hey, would you mind...?"

Photo: Ponce Photography via Pixabay

That I don't have to do Christmas all by myself. 

Which is a good thing. Because without them, I'm pretty sure Christmas at our house would come sometime in January. 

Okay, I'm kidding. Sort of.

So, as you deck the halls, keep in mind that this is supposed to be fun. That the anxiety, as one of our priests reminded us in the homily on Sunday, is of our own making. Keep the lists minimal so you can maximize the time you spend doing things you love with people you love.

'Tis the season, after all.

List-less

Pixabay

Are you a list-maker or a list-hater?

Usually, I'm the former, but I also believe that some days, you need to ditch the list and just go with the flow. Usually, I feel guilty when I do this, but that's actually rather silly. I mean, it's not as though I'm ever truly without a list. Even if I don't write one down today, I have the one I wrote yesterday and the day before, and even on good days, those lists have items that have been left undone.

Then there are the lists that run through my head. Whether or not I write them down, those items still exist. And, when I do write them down (as I do most of the time), I end up with a master list -- a place where I collect my thoughts, which serves as the impetus for my daily lists.

Finally, there are the physical reminders of things to do. The pile that needs to be sorted and put away. The mere existence of kitchen appliances that remind me that meal planning is inevitable, even if only to say, "Nah," and order a pizza.

So, it could be argued that I don't actually need a daily list. That it's overkill.

But daily lists give us focus, which is key when things are time-sensitive. Due dates to meet, meetings to attend and appointments that await us form lists of their own on the calendar page, giving our day a structure into which we fit all the other odds and ends we must complete.

And so, on those days when we don't have that structure -- when we have nowhere to be and nothing time sensitive to do, sometimes it pays to putter. To move from one thing that needs to be done to the next without actually deciding on an agenda.

Or maybe the opposite is true. Maybe we hit a day that's already so structured that adding a list to it is overkill. Going to our appointments and meeting our deadlines is our list. Those are the things we check off at the end of the day and anything else is icing on the cake.

Some days, we ditch the list, and other days, we live by it. Some days we need to let go, and other days we need to take charge.

Today, I'm back at work, getting ready to start the month which brings finals to create and grade, and the end of fall semester. In a few weeks, those finals will be over (and graded), and some days (after Christmas!), I'll enjoy the feeling of being list-less.

How about you? Will you join me in ditching the list?

Taking Stock

Photo: Lauren Mancke via Minimography

I am the sort of person who leaves multiple windows open on her computer. (Multiple doesn't begin to describe it). When I discovered that I could create a dozen or more different desktops on my MacBook, this made me love my laptop even more than I already did.

Any guesses what my predominant style is?

Whether our styles reveal themselves in an unmistakeable I need to see it, drop and run or cram and jam fashion, or in a subtler, more nuanced way, we all need to pause and take stock sometimes. For me, last Saturday was that time. This was not surprising; the end of the month was, at that time, a little more than a week away.

So, I set out to make a master list that would enable me to replace the visual clutter with one neat list. My goal was to close out the open windows on my computer and streamline the to-do lists on my desk.

I started out with one measly piece of paper, but quickly decided that to really get my house in order, I needed separate pages for key categories. This method would accomplish two things: it would organize my thoughts (by category) and keep my lists shorter, and therefore less overwhelming. I briefly considered going back to the color-coded list format I use in the summer, but decided that I'd be better off with pages in a notebook.

So, armed with my calendar, my work to-do notebook (each class has its own column) and my spiral-bound notebook, I dug in.

First stop: my laptop. I had tabs open in my browser for articles I wanted to read, use for blogs or reference for class, along with references for writing projects. I had presentations in various stages of completion, some old (for reference) and some current. I had writing projects galore. Beginning with the browser tabs, I took one thing at a time, adding each to the appropriate list and then closing it out.  Because it's easier to access links by simply clicking on them, I created a master list of the links I had open and wanted to return to and emailed it to myself. Now, instead of leaving all those tabs open, I simply have to open the email and click on the link I want.

Second stop: all those notes on my desk. This part was easy, because, as it turns out, there weren't that many of them. Apparently my paper system is working better than my electronic system -- something that was a nice surprise, but, in retrospect, shouldn't have been surprising at all. I am, at heart, a paper-and-pencil girl.

Third stop (which perhaps should have been first): the multiple piles that scream, "An I need to see it/drop and run person lives here!" Why weren't they first? Because I'm more organized than I look. The really important, to-do list qualifying stuff is on my computer or my desk.

As I worked on the list, a funny thing happened: I started to get really excited about tackling all of the things I was writing down. While visual reminders can be helpful, having too many of them for too long can become exhausting, and therefore counterproductive. After a while, they all blend together and become a congealed mass of things to do.

Thank goodness I have my nice, neat list.

3 Keys Thursday: Managing Times of Transition

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Last weekend, I attended a writers' conference, and I came home with new ideas to try, and a determination to write more than simply my blogs on a daily basis. But, just as last weekend's conference collided with my daughter's prom, this week's resolutions collided with her graduation.

I'm no fool. I know what's really important in this equation.

Still, as one thing after another edged out the writing I'd just pledged to do, I had to remind myself that time management in times of transition is different that day-to-day time management. And, when the transitions are as significant as a high school graduation, it's important to keep in mind that managing time is less important than making the most of it.

With that in mind, here are my three keys for keeping your sanity when your brain says, "you should be doing this," but your heart says, "you should be doing that."

• Be flexible. There's no harm in drafting a schedule, provided you write it in pencil. Things will change (that's why they call it "transition") and fighting that inevitability only makes us cranky and stressed out. Check things off as you can, and re-evaluate priorities as the day goes on.

• Be available. Times of transition are loaded with opportunities to do valuable things that aren't on the list. Knowing that this is the last week my daughter's schedule will be this flexible makes me more apt to drop what I'm doing when she wants my attention. This week, deviating from the schedule led to a long talk and a fun shopping trip -- well worth sacrificing the things that didn't get crossed off the list.

• Be patient -- and not just with others. All this flexibility and availability can be really hard, and   can lead to frustration over all that's left undone. As I seem to be saying a lot these days, it's important to focus on the progress we've made, not the progress we haven't made, and, it's even more important to remember what really matters.

Pixabay

Transitions mean change and change brings challenges. When in doubt, take a moment to ask yourself what matters most. That way, you can tackle the most important challenges first, and make the most of every moment.

And that's a style everyone can get behind.