STYLE Then & Now: Taking My Stuff on the Road

With everything that's going on this summer, last summer's events seem so far away. This time last summer, I was celebrating a new book and preparing to go to a conference as not only as an attendee, but as a presenter as well. 

Since my favorite tools list is, like organizing itself, a work in progress, I thought I'd look back at last year's recommendations and see if they still held true. Last year, three of my key packing tools were:

My conference bag. Though I try to keep the stuff I lug around to a minimum, it's helpful to have some sort of bag to corral everything so I can keep my hands free for handshakes, pouring water and handing out business cards. This time around, I chose to use one of my Know Thyself  totes so I could advertise, too.

The bags that my sheets came in. These fabric, drawstring bags that held my sheets when they were new are a great way to transport shoes. I've pulled the drawstrings all the way through on a few of them, so I now just tuck the fabric under or wrap the drawstring around the top of the bag and tie it shut. I have a couple of smaller bags that pillowcases came in; those are great for jewelry and perfume.

Pill sorters and toilet paper tubes. One of the things I love about Pinterest is that it's full of great ideas other people came up with. Pill sorters (the kind that have a compartment for each day of the week) are great for transporting earrings. If I slide the pill sorters into into the little pouch (otherwise known as the bags my pillowcases came in), the earrings stay safe even if one of the compartments pops open during travel.

And the toilet paper tubes? Drop one end of the necklace through the tube and bring it back around the outside of the tube to clasp it. This can also be tucked into one of the little pouches (or, failing that, a resealable plastic bag) to keep it from tangling. I like to decorate the tubes with Washi tape to make them look pretty.

This summer, a writing conference isn't in the cards but we did keep our reservations at the beach. I carried my usual bag of goodies for the car ride (in lieu of a conference bag), but I also pack plenty of reading material, writing stuff, and other things to keep me entertained. This year, I packed all of that into a sturdy, cloth-covered bin. It's the perfect size for magazines, file folders and, as you can see, a pad for doodling random ideas. And, as I said yesterday, it helps me stay organized and keep things tidy while I'm away. In addition, it stores easily in the car without tipping over. 

As for the drawstring fabric bags, pill sorters and toilet paper tubes? Staples in my travel arsenal, they all made the trip to the beach as well and I am happy to report that no necklaces became tangled in the process. 

How about you? What helps you stay organized when you're away from home?

3 Keys Thursday: 3 Steps to Shoring Up Weak Spots

Dodgerton Skillhause via Morguefile

I had planned to post this last week (the day after Wednesday's post about weak spots and cracks), but I was attending a virtual writing retreat and, ironically, never got it written! By the time I realized this post hadn't made it out of my drafts folder, it was late in the evening, so I decided to let the Facebook Live video suffice.

So, here I am, once again talking about weak spots and cracks. A weak spot is something that's working but not quite ideal, while a crack is a system so weak it could give way at any time. Both of these need our attention, but one is more dire than the other.

If you are reading this and nodding along, your next question is probably, "what do I do?" Well, like so much else in organization, it's a process.

Identify what's working. Starting with successes tells us what we need to look for in our solutions and makes sure we don't "throw out the baby with the bathwater," so to speak. What do you like about the set-up? The container? The location? These are things you'll want to replicate as you make things even better.

Identify the problem. Is it a container problem, a location problem or a style problem? Issues with containers (and when I say "container" I mean anything from a pencil cup to a closet) include size (too big or too small), function (not up to doing the job it's currently doing or having a built-in obstacle such as a lid or needing too many steps to access it), and location (great container, but too out-of-the-way). Perhaps the location is right but there's no container at all (that pile of papers on the desk). Once you've decided what the problem is, it's much easier to figure out the next step, especially when you pair it with what is already working well.

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Consider your styles. Is the weak spot an indication that you aren't being true to style? If you've discovered built- in obstacles, for example (for me, lids are a great example of this, as they're hindrances to both my I need to see it personal style and my drop and run organizational style), how can you simplify the set-up so it works for you? What has worked in other areas of your house? How can you replicate that to turn this this weak spot into a strong spot?

From here, it's time to figure out one concrete action you can take to make things better. A new container? A new location? A reorganization of the space? Keep in mind that although this step might lead to a permanent solution, it might be just a stepping stone. Dial back the pressure, and focus on making it better rather than perfect. Solutions emerge, and as we change, they need to change too.

When I look at how different our house looks now compared to how it looked when we moved in 25 years ago, I can see how it has grown (an addition) and changed (an office turned playroom turned family room) according to the needs of our family. Organization works in much the same way. What we need to organize influences how we need to organize and where we need to organize it.

And sometimes those weak spots and cracks are a doorway to a better way.

True Confessions Wednesday: Something Old

True Confession #26: Sometimes, it pays to be a packrat.

On Monday night, (day 41 of self-imposed exile, for those of you keeping score at home), I pulled the lid off my signature scent (a fancy way of saying my only bottle of perfume) and the nozzle came off with it. Securely wedged inside, it wouldn't budge, leaving me with a nearly full bottle and no way to spray it. It was late, so I went to bed, saddened at the thought of wasting all of that perfume.

The next morning, I got up and took another look. Nope -- no miracles. Still inextricably wedged inside. I twisted the little strip of gold that remained at the top of the perfume bottle and the spray mechanism came loose.

Okay, good. I wouldn't have to waste the perfume. But where was I going to pour it? My mom used to have one of those vanity trays with the glass bottles for various fragrances, but those were long gone.

Wait.

I pulled open the top drawer of my dresser and there it was.

The old bottle.

There was only whisper of liquid left, but the most important part remained. I quickly pulled off the lid (gently this time), unscrewed the spray mechanism and, I'm embarrassed to say, got ready to pour.

Yeah, there was an easier way. I swapped the mechanisms and returned the old bottle to the drawer, exceedingly happy about a very simple thing.

When I saved that bottle, I had no really good reason. A faint aroma still lingered, so I tucked it in my dresser drawer as a sort of glass sachet.

Yeah. No good reason to keep it and pretty much every professional organizer on the planet would tell me to toss it. But I kept it because I wanted to and now I'm really glad I did.

Sometimes, we save things for a good reason. Other times, we just want to. We can't keep everything we've ever owned but, despite the fact that something borrowed should always be returned, something old doesn't always need to end up in the trash. (When it comes to something blue, I'll let you decide).

Has an all-but-empty perfume bottle led me to contradict Let it Go! (The L in STYLE)? Quite the opposite, actually. Let it Go! has always been about letting go of things on your own terms. If something has meaning or use and you have room for it, keep it. If its time has passed or it's not worth the space it will take up, perhaps it is time for it to exit your home, whether via donation, yard sale or -- dare I say it? -- the trash.

Now that I think of it, I'm not sure why I tucked that old bottle back in the drawer. Habit, I guess. Perhaps it's time to go back upstairs and apply my own rules. Its usefulness has passed (it consists of a non-working mechanism atop an all-but-empty bottle of perfume) and, if no further fragrance lingers, there's really no reason to keep it. And getting rid of something old makes way for something new or, perhaps even better, yields clear space.

But that's another post.

3 Keys Thursday: 3 Key Elements of STYLE

In yesterday's post, I talked about the personal and organizational styles. Part of who we are and what we do naturally, they can be stumbling blocks or building blocks. Once we know that, we can embrace them, but we also need to know what to do with them.

The personal and organizational styles guide the way we organize by helping us choose the tools that work and flipping existing habits into helpful ones, but they don't provide a specific process. For that, we need a different kind of STYLE.

While each of these letters stands for an important piece of the process, three of them are also an important part of the organizing by STYLE philosophy. Whether you're an organizing by STYLE veteran or you're just starting out, the first three skills are key to embracing your styles rather than fighting them. Why does this matter? Because beating ourselves up is not only unhealthy, but it wastes time and energy that could be spent on actually making progress.

For those who are new to this approach, these three keys, combined with our personal and organizational styles, build the foundation to a system that works and is sustainable. For those who've  been doing this for a while, they can be a troubleshooting guide.

When I see something I need to improve (yes, that happens regularly), it's often one of these three keys that leads me to a solution. If I start with successes, I begin by assuming I'm doing something right, even if the system isn't working. Something this simple is energizing and opens the door to problem-solving; okay, if this part is working, but this part is not, what does that tell me about the changes I need to make? It may not happen all at once but, over time, it defines a blueprint for change.

Often, we get overwhelmed by the mere idea of getting organized. We have a life change or make a New Year's resolution, but we don't know where to start. We might even see the successes, but they seem so small compared to work we need to do that we're tempted to quit before we start. If we take small steps, the task not only seems less daunting, but also builds in more successes along the way. Success breeds success and soon, we're seeing progress.

Finally, the (relatively) simple task of deciding yes, it has a home and defining where that is reduces clutter not only in the moment, but on a long-term basis as well. I don't know about you but, at my house, homeless items make up about 90% of the clutter. If something is worth keeping, it's worth creating a place for and, once we know what that place is, we're more likely to put it there.

Whether you're a regular reader or have landed here only because you're on Day 2 of your 2020 New Year's resolution, don't forget that this is a process. Just as we won't lose those pesky 20 pounds overnight, we won't get organized that quickly either. The good news is the we don't have to do it all at once. If we use our styles as our guide and take small steps, building on our successes, we'll get there. Even better, we'll get to a place where we can maintain what we've created because it's built on what works for us.

Happy New Year! Let's Get Organized!

Happy New Year! Have you resolved to get organized in 2020? Well, you've come to the right place! What place is that? A non-judgmental place where you are encouraged to be yourself, build on what comes naturally and consider what works for you rather than one-size-fits-all storage solutions.

If it's your first time visiting, you might want to start out by taking the personal and organizational styles quiz. It will only take a few minutes and it will help you to determine which personal and organizational styles rise to the top for you. Though the names are far from technical and scientific, I'm very serious about helping people get organized. I just don't think it's necessary to check your sense of humor at the door in order to make that happen.

When I came up with these names, I was working with elementary school students, and so the names needed to be non-threatening and kid-friendly. As I began to talk with adults about getting organized, I found that they appreciated the silliness of the names, perhaps because the silly names made an overwhelming task seem less daunting. And so the names stuck. And you'll see them here a lot.

The first three (I love stuff, I love to be busy, I need to see it) are what I call the personal styles while the second three (drop and run, cram and jam and I know I put it somewhere) are the organizational styles. Hmmm....color-coding...any guess which personal style is mine?

Personal styles are the way we naturally function -- a part of our personality. Organizational styles are the methods we naturally use when we aim to organize -- unchecked, however, they're more like obstacles than organizational resource. The key to organizational progress lies at the intersection of our personal styles and our organizational styles.

Pixel2013 via Pixabay

When it comes to organizing, there will always be things we cannot control: the size of our living space, the amount of available storage space and the number of hours we have in a day. Sure, we can move, build on and pull all-nighters...but do we really want to devote our entire lives to getting ourselves organized?

Not me!

What we can do is impact those uncontrollable variables -- and even maximize them -- by using our styles to our advantage. 

So let's get started. Tomorrow, I'll talk about three ways to use STYLE (all caps for a reason) to enhance your styles and your organizational systems.

Happy New Year. Let's do this.

3 Keys Thursday: 3 Keys to Organizing with Kids

Dodgerton Skillhause via Morguefile

Last night, I was the last one in my house to go to bed, as usual. (There's no need to feel sorry for me -- I'm a night owl who treasures the quiet time when everyone else is asleep). As I walked through the kitchen before heading upstairs, I saw a pile of my daughter's things, ready to be loaded into the car for her trip up to campus. I'd walked around the pile (with mild annoyance, I might add) several times already but, in the quiet house, its significance hit me.

She's going back to school.

This year's trip back is, admittedly, one of the least emotional. We've done this before and, this time, she'll be in the United States. We're easing in, with a trip to bring most of her stuff up one weekend and actual departure for the semester the next.

And the prep is easier than ever. At 21, she has set up a dorm room four times already -- three times at the start of fall semester and once at the start of a semester abroad. She knows what she needs, she knows how to pack it and she knows how she wants things done. My job is to support her, not nag her, and do what she asks me to do, taking the subordinate position in this organization game.

If you're the parent of younger children, you might think this day will never come -- that you'll be consigned to picking up plastic toys, empty snack wrappers and wayward backpacks -- or reminding your kids to do so -- forever.

Often, when kids struggle to organize, it's for the same reasons that adults do -- the tools aren't working, aren't a good fit for them or they haven't developed the habit of consistency. When we help our children to build on organizational habits that are easy for them (putting the same toy in the same place every time they're finished with it) and that come naturally for them (personal and organizational styles), we lead them in the direction of being self-sufficient.

If we want our kids to become self-sufficient organizers, we need to not only teach them good habits (like assigning consistent homes to their things), but also to start with their organizational successes and build from there. If we fail to do this, we may win the battle (a temporarily tidy house), but lose the war (raising kids who know how to pick up after themselves without us following along behind them). If we respect our children's styles, placing ourselves in the subordinate position by acting as organizational facilitators instead of organizational dictators, we build their skills and their faith in themselves in a side-by-side process.

Here are three key things we can give our kids when it comes to organizing. 

• Give them ownership. We may think we have the perfect tools, containers or answers for them, but only they know if they'll really use it. And if they won't use it, we'll only end up back where we started...and a little poorer. Help them figure out their styles (but don't label them -- ask them where they think they fit instead) and offer suggestions, but let them have the final say. I can promise you it won't work every time, but getting organized is a learning process. We sometimes learn as much from what doesn't work as we do from what does. 

• Give them encouragement. Hard as it may be if you're parent for whom organizing comes easily, try not to judge. Most kids know that cramming all their papers into a small space, collecting every rock and crayon or dropping their shoes in the middle of the floor isn't the ideal organizational system. Gently redirect (if you can) and figure out a home and a system that works for both of you. Ask your child where he or she would put things...or, if possible, locate a container in the spot where he or she naturally drops stuff. Notice when something gets put where it belongs, returns home uncrushed and unfolded or can be found when it's needed. You don't have to throw a party. A smile will do. Maybe even an acknowledgment or a hug, if that works for both of you.

freepik.com

• Give them a timer. When you're a kid, fifteen minutes on the playground goes by in 30 seconds and fifteen minutes spent organizing takes an hour and a half. Agree on a stopping point -- whether it's in minutes, items put away, or a bite-sized task completed -- and then stick to it. Believe it or not, the kid who's allowed to stop when the timer goes off just might keep going. For some of us, getting started is the hardest part. If they're allowed to stop before they get frustrated, it'll be easier to get them to start the next time.

For you fabulous Type A parents who organize as easily as you breathe, this is going to be a challenge. Baby steps are growth, but it takes an awful lot of them to cover much ground. Start small, involving your child in tasks where success is easy to see -- a backpack, a drawer, a bookshelf -- and work from there. Better that you successfully organize one shelf and walk away happy than tackle an entire bedroom and end up yelling at each other. No level of organization is worth sacrificing your relationship with your child.

One last thing. When you've put your child in charge, don't go back and re-do what he or she has done. Nothing wrecks confidence faster, not to mention inspiring a complete lack of cooperation the next time around. For your sake as well as your child's, assist when asked, then walk away. 

Remember, you're in this for the long haul. Kids are finding their way in so many areas, and organizational skills rarely make the top of their list. Slow, steady, consistent progress and an understanding of their styles can help them to not only look neater, but understand themselves better as well.

And that is a gift that's perhaps even nicer than a Lego-free living room floor.

Announcement!!

On Monday, over at The Porch Swing Chronicles, I shared some new artwork that will be my calling card for those posts: a beautiful rendition of a porch swing created by my talented friend Rachel DeMasi. Today, I'm excited to do a reveal here, too -- the cover of my book, coming this spring from Our Sunday Visitor.

More than a compilation of Organizing by STYLE posts, Know Thyself: The (Im)Perfectionist's Guide to Sorting Your Stuff puts the most important STYLE stuff in your hands, all in one place in an organized fashion. While I have no intention of stopping these posts any time soon, I love that Know Thyself lets you look for the information you want without waiting for it to be what's on my mind or trying to figure out when you read the post on that topic.

I am over the moon! This book, which has been over a decade in the making, reflects something I truly believe in, engage in and have been told works for people besides just me, and I can't wait to share it with you.

Till then, check in here for new posts and book updates!

The (Im)perfectionist's Guide, Indeed

Alexas Fotos via Pixabay

A few months ago, I told the editor who helped me whip my book proposal into shape that she was not allowed to come to my house until after Know Thyself  was published. Otherwise, I feared she might deem me unfit to write about organization and take away my contract.

She wouldn't, of course (would she?) After all, I've been very forthcoming that I am a work-in-progress. And, the subtitle of the book is The (Im)perfectionist's Guide to Sorting Your Stuff.

So I'm guessing it's okay that I'm an imperfectionist.

You can tell this is true because there are pockets of perfection, and spots that need sorting. The towels in my linen closet are perfectly folded, but there are stacks of paper on my dining room table that have grown roots. I thought I knew what was in each of the piles until I went looking for something last week and found it...

In the wrong pile.

There's a place for everything and everything has a place in my school backpack, but there's a small side table in the family room that I set up for beginning-of-the-semester overflow in August and have been trying to get rid of ever since.

And midsemester grades are due this week.

There's definitely a theme here.

Why, if I know what to do, isn't my house like something out of a magazine?

geralt via Pixabay

Because life interferes. My best-laid plans get derailed by the unexpected and the unplanned, not all of which are bad. But I have no deadline (except one that's self-imposed) for the sorting and, since it's not as much fun as an impromptu night out with friends or as big a priority as the things I get an actual paycheck for, or as necessary as sleep, it always falls to the bottom of the list.

But I continue to put it on my list.

Why? Because we're more likely to do the things we actually set to paper. And because to fail to include it on the list would mean that I'm giving up and letting the stuff win.

And that's not going to happen.

In a few days, my midsemester break will begin. I wisely made sure that all of my assignments were due this week and last so that I wouldn't have to spend the break grading papers. That means writing and organizing will take top priority. That may sound deadly to you but, to me, those are the ingredients for a perfect break.

And maybe, just maybe, the pockets of perfection will overtake the stuff that needs sorting.

The [Im]Perfectionist's Guide to Sorting Your Stuff

For more than a decade, I've been teaching and writing about organizing, using silly style names like I need to see it and I know I put it somewhere. Initially, I taught lessons and ran small groups with elementary school students, helping my kids who struggled with organizational skills to look at the process from a different angle. Mostly, I focused on helping them to explore ways of organizing that worked with what they did naturally, helping them to focus on what they were doing right instead of what they were doing wrong.

When I retired, I took my show on the road, and discovered that adults enjoyed the silly names and styles-based approach as much as the kids did. It injected a sense of humor into a process that could be fraught with self-recrimination as we struggled to do something that seemed to come so easily to everyone else.

And I do mean we. From the very beginning, I was in on this process. My students knew what my desk looked like (the opposite of clean and clear, thankyouverymuch) and they knew I was in this with them. I wasn't preaching the same old-same old; I was in the trenches with them, turning my I need to see it/drop and run styles into a system that made it possible for me to find what I needed when I needed it.

As an educator, I knew instinctively that balancing strengths and needs was key, but it wasn't until I started teaching positive psychology and exploring character strengths that I realized there was a whole field devoted to coming at things from our strengths. Discovering there was research behind what I'd been doing all along was the final puzzle piece, one that legitimized this instinctive process for me, the psychology instructor.

It was pretty early in this process that I thought Organizing by STYLE might make a good book, but it wasn't until after I retired that I started blogging regularly about it. Even then, I couldn't quite find my way in -- a way that made sense beyond a succession of blog posts.

Then last spring, with the help of Sarah Reinhard at Our Sunday Visitor, I began shaping these ideas and lessons and blog posts into a book. I signed a contract and got down to the hard work of turning my dream into something tangible.

Last week, I got an email from my editor telling me that my not-quite-a-book-yet had a name. Know Thyself: The (Im)Perfectionist's Guide to Sorting Your Stuff is due out next spring.

Know Thyself will be my fifth book, tipping the non-fiction to fiction ratio back in favor of the non-fiction realm in which I started. I'm pretty sure Marita and Bets will have something to say about that, though, and will insist on tipping the scales back to even, if not in their favor (eventually).

Meanwhile, I'm left pondering a question that I'm surprised never occurred to me before. Which of the personal and organizational styles fits each of my characters?

If you've got an opinion on that subject, feel free to comment below. I promise I'll read them all as soon as I float back down to earth.