STYLE Basics: 3 Steps to Beating that Habit

Have you figured out your styles? Found some ways to make them work for you?

Excellent start.

But, while building systems that work with our styles is effective, it's only part of the process. We also need to keep those systems going and, as long as the habits at the root of our styles continue, we can sometimes get in our own way.

Take me, for example. As the not-always-so- proud owner of a drop and run organizational style, I've built my systems around this tendency. When I use them, they work very well.

But, when I get tired or stressed or overwhelmed?

You guessed it. I drop and run.

Identifying the habits that get us into trouble is the first step to replacing them with better ones. Here are a few things we can do to keep clutter-creating habits in line.

• Zoom in on a habit. Which habit gets you into trouble most often? The habit may be a style itself (like my dropping and running) or it may simply be connected to a personal or organizational style (like the sheer quantity of items collected by someone with an I love stuff personal style). Zoom in on one of these to target. Then...

• Catch yourself in the act. By targeting the style, you're more likely to catch yourself and intervene early. Ready to drop that item instead of putting it away? Catch yourself and put it where it belongs. Ready to add one more thing to an already burgeoning collection? Think about what spot it will fill and where it will go before you get it home.

• Use self-talk. Find a reminder that works and say it to yourself every time that clutter-creating habit you're targeting surfaces. For me, it's "Don't put it down, put it away." A cram and jammer might remind herself to store it, not cram it and someone with the I know I put it somewhere organizational style might ask himself "Where does this belong?" Every time we use our words to remind ourselves what we should do instead, we cement a good habit instead.

Pairing our day-to-day actions with our organizational systems can not only take us from cluttered to clear. It can also make sure we stay that way.

True Confessions Wednesday: Self Care

True Confession #25: Tonight, instead of writing this blog, I mixed myself a drink and indulged in a Zoom happy hour with friends.

What does this have to do with organization?

Not a thing. But it has a lot to do with time management and self-care. I'd spent the whole day on school stuff -- meetings, emails, grading -- and had gone back to my desk after dinner to finish a set of papers. More papers -- and planning -- loomed, as did this blog post.

Take a break?

No better time.

I'm not complaining. I love my job and I love writing these posts. Though I prefer to do both during the daylight hours, that's not always how it plays out, mostly because I have a hard time stepping away. Sometimes I need an excuse, but even when one shows up in my inbox, I can be a little dense.

Today was (fortunately) not one of those days.

Powering through is sometimes what we need but, more often, it isn't. If the fuse is lit and we're on fire to finish something, powering through is the way to go. But when our minds and bodies are telling us otherwise, listening is the smart thing to do.

Today was a difficult day -- nothing major, just one of those days -- but tomorrow will be better because I took care of myself tonight.

Take care of you. There's no better investment.

Friday Freebie: 3 More Keys to Organizing with Kids

Adapted from a photo by creative_designer on Pixabay
using Canva


Since I've been talking about organizing with kids, this week,
I thought I'd pull out an old post on the subject.
Here are three key things we can give our kids when it comes to organizing.

• Give them ownership. We may think we have the perfect tools, containers or answers for them, but only they know if they'll really use it. And if they won't use it, we'll only end up back where we started...and a little poorer. Help them figure out their styles (but don't label them -- ask them where they think they fit instead) and offer suggestions, but let them have the final say. I can promise you it won't work every time, but getting organized is a learning process. We sometimes learn as much from what doesn't work as we do from what does. 

• Give them encouragement. Hard as it may be if you're parent for whom organizing comes easily, try not to judge. Most kids know that cramming all their papers into a small space, collecting every rock and crayon or dropping their shoes in the middle of the floor isn't the ideal organizational system. Gently redirect (if you can) and figure out a home and a system that works for both of you. Ask your child where he or she would put things...or, if possible, locate a container in the spot where he or she naturally drops stuff. Notice when something gets put where it belongs, returns home uncrushed and unfolded or can be found when it's needed. You don't have to throw a party. A smile will do. Maybe even an acknowledgment or a hug, if that works for both of you.

freepik.com

• Give them a timer. When you're a kid, fifteen minutes on the playground goes by in 30 seconds and fifteen minutes spent organizing takes an hour and a half. Agree on a stopping point -- whether it's in minutes, items put away, or a bite-sized task completed -- and then stick to it. Believe it or not, the kid who's allowed to stop when the timer goes off just might keep going. For some of us, getting started is the hardest part. If they're allowed to stop before they get frustrated, it'll be easier to get them to start the next time.

For you fabulous Type A parents who organize as easily as you breathe, this is going to be a challenge. Baby steps are growth, but it takes an awful lot of them to cover much ground. Start small, involving your child in tasks where success is easy to see -- the day's school supplies, a drawer, a shelf -- and work from there. Better that you successfully organize one shelf and walk away happy than tackle an entire bedroom and end up yelling at each other. No level of organization is worth sacrificing your relationship with your child.

One last thing. When you've put your child in charge, don't go back and re-do what he or she has done. Nothing wrecks confidence faster, not to mention inspiring a complete lack of cooperation the next time around. For your sake as well as your child's, assist when asked, then walk away. 

Kids are finding their way in so many areas, and organizational skills rarely make the top of their list. Slow, steady, consistent progress and an understanding of their styles can help them to not only look neater, but understand themselves better as well.

And that is a gift that's perhaps even nicer than a Lego-free living room floor.

3 Keys Thursday: 3 Keys to Organizing with Kids

Dodgerton Skillhause via Morguefile

Yesterday, I suggested giving kids the opportunity to organize their way. But, how are they -- or you-- supposed to figure out what their way is?

Watch what works. Much of organizing is trial and error. Paying attention to when things go smoothly and when they don't can yield clues as to not only what tools to use but how to time the clean-up.

While younger children are pretty much committed to whatever system you set up, older kids (elementary age and up) can -- and will -- tell you what they like and what they don't like. Simply asking your child why a tool doesn't work or what he or she thinks might work better can show that you're interested in their option and help them begin thinking strategically about organizing.

As you and your child try out new tools and strategies:

Keep it simple. The fewer steps, the better. Bins without lids that let them simply drop things in (Hooray! It's away!), open (or pop up) hampers that let them toss dirty laundry somewhere besides the floor, and drawers with organizers that let them see at a glance where something belongs can make it as easy to put things away as it is to simply put them down.

Keep it interesting. While the way a container looks doesn't attest to its quality, it might make your child more likely to use it. Any investment they make in the selection of or logic behind the organizer can help them develop ownership in the organizing process.

Keep it positive. Organizing is a series of small steps, not a one-and-deal. Noticing each small success and helping your children troubleshoot when obstacles arise can help them develop confidence in their ability to pull off this sometimes challenging life skill.

If you're thinking it's easier to just do it yourself, I'm here to tell you that you're probably right. But do you really want to commit to doing it yourself for the long haul?

True Confessions Wednesday: Give Kids Their Way

True Confession #24: I like to do things my way. Everyone who knows me, along with anyone who reads this blog on a regular basis is laughing at the understatement that is that sentence.

I'm not inflexible. I just know what I like.

But this post isn't about me. It's about your kids.

As we all spend lots of -- ahem -- quality time together, melding home and school and every possession, plaything, or educational material into one big, overwhelming, previously organized space, we may be struggling to keep it -- I mean things -- together. And we all know what we like.

And it's probably not happening.

Believe it or not, kids have organizing styles too. Sometimes they match ours, sometimes they don't. But a surefire way to keep your kids from organizing their stuff is to disregard their styles and do it yourself (a.k.a. according to your styles) because it's easier. It might be easier (and faster) but, rather than teaching them how to organize, it's teaching them that if they leave things disorganized for long enough, someone else will come along behind them and organize it for them.

Sometimes, after the organizing angel has worked her magic (although at my house, the angel is more likely to moonlight as a dad), the children in question have the nerve -- no, the gall! -- to complain about how it was done.

Can you believe that?

What looks like a serious case of entitlement is often a difference in styles. I'm not promising you that if you ask your children what their styles are that they will magically fall in line and put away every last possession, plaything, and educational material without being asked. But I am suggesting that you ask them what might work for them.

Maybe even give them this very scientific quiz I made up.

She might be too young to figure out how to
organize on her own, but her big sister
probably isn't. (Photo: Kasman via Pixabay)

Teaching our kids to organize most often begins with modeling the strategies that come naturally to us. Some of our kids will adopt those same strategies and develop organizing systems that look like ours and, when it comes time to clean up at the end of the day, they will do so to our satisfaction.

Others will not but, when we offer them alternatives, they might develop their own strategies and systems. They might even like the responsibility of caring for their own things when they can do it their way. Even better, it's possible that they've learned a thing or two from all those things that didn't work. With a little encouragement and a lot of flexibility, we can help them develop a life skill while they're still living at home where we can appreciate it.

Adults don't have the market cornered on wanting to do things our way. Honoring your child's styles can, in the end, make both of you happy.

After all, everyone loves a little ownership.

3 Keys Thursday: 3 Key Things that are Keeping the Work Flow...Flowing

Dodgerton Skillhause via Morguefile

Two weeks ago, I wrote about three things I realized about myself as a result of moving to online instruction. One of those had to do with my need for work flow. I don't think I'm alone in this but, like every other aspect of organization, what flows for one person might not flow so well for someone else.

When we switched to online classes, one of the first things I had to figure out was how to establish a smooth work flow in my office. When I write, all I need is a place for my laptop but when I'm going back and forth between Zoom meetings, grading and planning, I need more space.

It took me a little while but, luckily, I had all the pieces at my disposal and it was just a matter of working it out.

My desk has been clear for nearly three months now -- a lifetime record (adult life anyway), I'm sure. There are a few things that live on top of it but the workspace is clear. It begins each day like that and is returned to that same state every night. Sounds small, perhaps, bu for me, it's a big deal. That clear space was phase one.

Months ago, my sister brought me a small table that used to be in my parents' house. I didn't have a spot for it, so I temporarily put it in my office, where I quickly grew attached to it as an extra work space. Now it has become, my auxiliary desk.

Phase 2.

Tucked under my desk is a green rolling bin that has served many different purposes, but is currently the repository for all of my class materials, most of which are gathered in a binder and a plastic box the size of an oversized notebook. Because it's on wheels, I can pull it out as I need it and tuck it away when I'm finished.

Phase 3.

Except for the desk, everything is moveable, which means I can make adjustments as I need to but, a month into this little online game, I'm pretty happy with the way things are going. The things that live on my desk (pencils, scrap paper, beach coaster for my tea) round out the system, keeping things running smoothly.

Now, if only I could whip that pesky counter into shape.

True Confessions Wednesday: Beholden to a Binder

True Confession #23: Sometimes, I use a binder.

It's rare. In fact, it almost feels wrong. I've spent so much time railing against doing things the usual way that choosing a standard tool makes me feel like a traitor to STYLE.

But a week or so ago, there I was, searching my stockpile for a just-right binder. The stack of printouts from my online course needed to go somewhere and, since I was pretty sure I'd want to reference them, that somewhere needed to keep them organized and accessible.

A binder was, in this case, the just right tool -- the Goldilocks to my burgeoning paper pile.

So, stylish binder in hand (none of those standard-issue solid color binders for this I need to see it girl), I sat down with my stack of papers, my three-hole punch, and my sticky tabs and I did one of my favorite things.

I made order out of chaos.

I've written a lot about making the break from traditional tools, but I've also written a lot about choosing the right container for the job. In this case, I needed to keep the papers in order, so a file folder or accordion file didn't make sense. I needed to be able to flip through them easily, take them out and put them back again, and store them neatly in between uses before setting them aside until next fall.

I needed a binder.

While I don't care for binders for everyday use, I do like them (especially if they're eye-catching) for reference materials that can -- and do -- stay out of sight until needed. They work better for my I need to see it personal style than file cabinets because once I open the binder, things are visible and,  if I've organized them correctly in the first place, they are accessible as well.

Organizing by STYLE doesn't mean we'll never use standard tools -- it just means we won't default to them. Though I've moved away from binders and file cabinets, there are times when I choose them because they are the right tool for me and for the job -- something that is at the heart of organizing by STYLE. In addition, when we choose to use a standard tool, we can personalize it. My binder is eye-catching (to go with my I need to see it personal style) and, when I add my sticky tabs to the pages, I can see what's where and flip through the pages easily. Down the road, I might also add a clip to the front, or a divider with pockets but, for now, my binder is working quite well.

I'm as surprised as you are.

3 Keys Thursday: 3 Reasons Now is a Good Time to Organize

Dodgerton Skillhause via Morguefile

I realized last night that I hadn't opened my planner -- my beautiful planner that I just couldn't resist buying last year -- in days, or maybe more than a week. I realized this only when I was writing a blog post about things on my desk and found myself writing about the file bin that is its home. It makes me a little sad to think that right now, I have no need of my planner. After all, where am I going?

At the moment, organization is probably not at the top of your list -- but maybe it should be. No, this isn't a lecture -- if you've been reading this blog for more than 30 seconds you know that's not my style. Instead, I wanted to share three things about organization that make me feel grateful in these uncertain times.

Organization brings order to chaos. I'd love to tell you there's nothing resembling chaos anywhere in my house but that would be both untrue and amusing. But, as a work in progress, I appreciate the feeling I get every single time I whip one little corner of chaos into order.

Organization helps things go more smoothly. Making the switch from teaching face-to-face classes to teaching online was daunting and continues to be exhausting. Creating a system in my office that matches the way I work was essential to keeping all the moving pieces in some sort of order and helping me to maintain my sanity. Sure, a measured amount of chaos still reigns on my counter (and if I ever come up for air, I'll tackle it) but, every night, I clear my desk, plug in my laptop, and put the next day's materials on the table so I can begin the next day as calmly as possible.

Organization yields clear space, which yields peace. For me, the best thing about organizing is the creation of clear space where clutter once reigned (see organization/chaos above). A lovely, clear space creates a sense of calm and order that, for me, contributes to positive mental health.

Right now, amid the chaos swirling around us, there's so much we can't control. I don't know about
you, but I don't do helpless well. Making even a small organizational improvement makes me feel a little less stressed, a little more in control (even if I'm only Queen of the Mail Pile) and, of course, a little more organized.

That said, take care of you first, and organizing second. If the two happen to collide, so much the better.

Stay well :-)

Way Back Wednesday: 3 Containers to Get Rid of Today

We've all done it. We've succumbed. Maybe it was a planner that promised to do everything but organize our time for us. Maybe it was a purse that claimed you'd never again have to dump it just to find the one thing you were looking for. Maybe it was those bins that you just knew would remove clutter from your life.

Except that they didn't.

When is an organizing tool actually an obstacle?

When it doesn't match your styles. (Admit it. You saw that one coming). For me, one of the best things about identifying my styles was that I stopped buying every miracle organizer that came down the pike. If it doesn't match my styles, it doesn't make it into my shopping cart.

When it's too small for the task at hand. The best containers are, like Baby Bear's bed and porridge, "just right." They fit the space we've allocated and they have a little bit of room left over so that other, similar items can be added as necessary. Too big containers are unwieldy, but too small containers are perhaps even more frustrating. By the time we get used to using them, we've outgrown them. While it's reasonable to expect to sort and review the contents of our containers from time to time, too small organizers require this process much too often.

When it's too complicated. Let's face it. Most of us want to make it as easy to put things away as it is to drop them on the nearest counter. The more complicated the container is, the less likely it is that we'll use it on a regular basis.

Take inventory at your house. Do you have any of these containers in your possession? If so, it's time to consider a container upgrade. Ditch the miracle organizers and their empty promises for storage that actually makes your life easier.

3 Things Thursday: A Twist on a Thursday Post

PIRO4D via Pixabay

There's nothing like a massive lifestyle change to get me thinking. And this evening, I'm thinking about a few things all this time inside working online has revealed to me about myself. They aren't three keys, exactly, so they're a slight departure from my usual Thursday post, but I promise to relate them back to style.

I have a love/hate relationship with technology. I love my MacBook, my phone and my iPad. I'm also learning to love some of the tools I'm using for online learning but, when things don't go smoothly tech-wise, I get frazzled very quickly.
What does this have to do with styles? This, combined with my I need to see it personal style, means I still go for the paper back-up. I have a paper grade-book to back up the online grading platform we use. Given the choice between the planner on my phone and a paper planner, I go for the paper planner every time. When I make lists, they're on paper; I have entire notebooks dedicated to lists. While I appreciate all technology has to offer, at the end of the day, I'm a hybrid girl.

rayedigitaldesigns via Pixabay

I get frustrated when my work flow isn't efficient. When my husband moves my stuff, I become irrationally annoyed. I've been chalking this up to being just a tad (?) high maintenance but, lately, I've noticed a pattern that has to do with more than just the twelve inch difference in our heights.
What does this have to do with styles? I tend to set things up (and put things away) in accordance not only with my I need to see it and drop and run styles but also with the flip side to my drop and run organizational style: grab and go. I don't want to have to move a pile of stuff to get to something I need -- it's bad enough when I create this situation for myself with piles of papers. When I've laid things out (or put them away) just so, I rely on being able to see and/or grab what I need when I need it. When that doesn't happen, my work flow is disrupted and I get grumpy.

ArtsyBee via Pixabay

I can both completely ignore some clutter, and get completely distracted by it. There is a pile of homeless items on the counter in my office that has been there for an embarrassingly long period of time. I know eventually I'll do the necessary sorting and home-finding that makes it disappear, so it annoys me only mildly. But relocate that pile somewhere else in my house (on the steps leading to the second floor of our house, for example) and my reaction is decidedly less laissez-faire.
What does this have to do with styles? I could tie this (like so much else) back to my I need to see it personal style but, the truth is, it has more to do with a different concept: it's a process. There are rooms and surfaces in my house that I've worked hard to de-clutter. As the process of organizing my house goes, I have checked those places off my list, marking them as organizational successes. As a result, I have no desire to go back. One small thing out of place in the living room or more than two or three pieces of mail on the mail counter is enough to pull my focus and render me incapable of walking past that spot without intervening or, at the very least, making a mental note. The latter is actually worse because it nags at me until I set things right.

Our personal styles (I need to see it, I love to be busy, and I love stuff) are the "who" behind our organization. Rooted in the way we look at the world, they, along with our organizational styles,  drive how we organize.

But our personal styles go deeper, driving not only how we organize, but how we approach life. This is one reason why organizing is a personal endeavor, and why one set of rules -- just like one pair of shoes or one organizing tool -- doesn't fit everyone. Organizing isn't just about "how"; at its heart, it's also about "who" and, when we embrace that, the whole process gets easier.

True Confessions Wednesday: Pile or System?

True Confession #22: My drop-and-run systems are often just piles in disguise.

A couple of weeks ago, I was looking for a place to store my daughter's gluten-free stash without doing a major kitchen storage overhaul. My eyes lit on the bins underneath my mail counter, two of which were only partially full (room to grow), so I reached into the middle one, pulled out a pile of magazines and voilà! Problem solved.

Except now I have a pile of homeless (and probably outdated) magazines.

For now, this pile is on the steps leading to the second floor of our house. Last weekend, I was good at picking up a new magazine every time -- okay, many times when -- I passed the piles but as the week got busy, the pile got neglected.

I could just add it to one of the (many) other piles of reading materials I have but I keep holding out hope that its current location will catch my I need to see it eye so that I solve the problem rather than compounding it.

Getting back to my original confession, the concept of piles in disguise is not entirely bad. After all, when you think about it, most organizing systems for papers are organized piles. Binders. File cabinets. In/out boxes.

My magazine bin.

The trick is to keep the pile organized in whatever way works for your styles. I have one bin that is all catalogs so that when I get the mail, every catalog either goes there or gets recycled immediately (Don't put it down, put it away). When I'm looking for a catalog, I look in the bin (the home for catalogs) and when it gets full, it's time to go through the catalogs and get rid of duplicates (two from the same company) and anything outdated. This is a pile in disguise (the bin being its disguise) but, since it's not haphazard, it's also an organized pile. The bin contains everything, matches its neighbors and leaves things looking better than a random pile of magazines would.

As for the pile sitting on my steps? Now a random pile, it was an organized pile before I sacrificed my bin for the greater good. How was it not random in the bin? Only certain magazines got slipped into that bin so that if I were looking for one of those issues, I'd know where to find it.

As I've mentioned before, this blog is therapeutic in that writing about what I need to do often gives me the nudge I need to do the thing I wrote about. With some time off next week, maybe I'll tackle that pile and not only get rid of it, but read its contents. Or maybe tonight I should just take the whole thing back in the family room and get rid of whatever's in there that I know I won't read anyway, assuming those items actually exist. Either of those would be progress.

Stay tuned.