3 Keys Thursday: 3 Keys for Syncing Schedules

Dodgerton Skillhause via Morguefile

My husband took last Friday off. While it seems that a three-day weekend in the summer would be a great thing (and it was for him), it's only a great thing all around if everyone is off. What he saw as a spur-of-the-moment vacation day ("Let's do stuff!") I saw as an obstacle to my productivity ("I already have stuff to do!")

Did I mention that I work from home?

Last minute decisions challenge me, even when there's fun involved. On the one hand, I admire the spontaneity and feel as though I should (oops -- there's that word again) be better at rolling with it. On the other hand, when I've laid out my work assuming a five-day week, fun, spontaneous and "rolling with it" are nowhere to be found. When one part of me says, "lighten up!" while the other part of me says, "you have deadlines!" it can be challenging to satisfy both sides.

As with many other aspects of organizing and time management, I'm a work-in-progress when situations like these arise. Here are three keys I'm trying in an effort to satisfy all of me.

Show myself some respect. I feel guilty being unenthusiastic when my husband announces a day off with little prior notice, especially when I respond with precisely the amount of enthusiasm I feel. But -- and I mean this without malice -- why should I feel guilty that I'm not enthusiastic about all of my plans being tossed into the air? Still, while it's natural to feel frustrated when my best-laid plans get sidetracked, I can change the way I respond. I can acknowledge that the day off is a great thing for him, while also explaining that I have plans I might not be able -- or willing -- to change.

Accept the things I cannot change -- and not just the things on my list. If my husband is going to be home, my day is going to look different. There will be noise where there is usually quiet. My freedom to work in places besides my office may be curtailed. I might have to settle for accomplishing less than I'd hoped to. From a practical perspective, anything that has a deadline may be immovable, rendering me truly unavailable for part -- or all -- of the day. Determining what is truly non-negotiable is the first step to letting go of the shoulds and the guilt and figuring out where flexibility fits in.

Have the courage to change the things I can. Discretionary items, on the other hand, are not immovable. Unlike deadlines, which need to stay on the list, things I wanted to do (or was looking forward to doing) fit into the category of things I can change -- if I choose to. While separating the "must do" items from the "want to do" items takes me a step closer to satisfying the side of me that says, "lighten up," it's only a first step. Whether or not I actually want to replace those things with other things is another discussion.

Are you thinking that this seems like an awful lot of thinking for a day off? Yeah. Me too. But what's at stake here is more than just a deadline or a to-do list. It's about priorities. When a family member is suddenly available for a day off on a weekday, finding the want to do/must do balance impacts more than to-do lists; it impacts relationships.

Which is exactly what makes this whole thing so complicated in the first place.

How about you? What do you do when your schedule comes undone? Is it as simple as ditching the list and seizing the day?

Wednesday Evening Musings

Good evening, friends! I started out the day on top of things, posting the link to today's visit to the Inspired Prompt blog (thanks for having me back, ladies!). Then, I went off to teach, today's post for this blog running through my head.

And now it's 8:30 p.m. and the post hasn't left my head and made it to the page yet. Some days are like that.

BilliTheCat via Pixabay

Like my schedule, my closet has reached that point, except that with my closet, the balance is better. One in? Maybe. One out? Definitely.

Most of what I'm weeding is easy to let go of -- and that's coming from someone who's definitely not a ruthless de-clutterer.  When I retired seven years ago, I slowly (and cheaply) restocked my casual basics -- jeans, solid color tees, sweaters, and tank tops for layering -- because that was all I needed. I shopped sales and consignments and did a lot of one-in-every-color shopping.

Seven years later, those pieces are showing their age. A few are still holding their own, but most are earning failing grades in either fit or style, making it easy to dump them or donate them, depending on their condition.

As much as I love clear space, though, I'm reaching the point where clear space in my closet is becoming problematic. Everything's going, but not much is replacing it. That's great -- to a point. After all, how many clothes do we really need?

I don't have a good answer to that, but I do know that I'm at a turning point. Is the empty space in my closet a sign of a deficit, or an opportunity to rebalance and reorganize?

I'm choosing to look at it as an opportunity. For once, I actually feel as though there's enough space in my closet for everything I own which makes me want to seek another opportunity -- the opportunity to dig deeper and see what else can go. Usually, I get rid of things a little at a time, often after spending an entire day wearing something I didn't feel good in. Now, though, I see the chance not for a new wardrobe, but for a do-over.

So, I'll stick with slow and steady, weeding as I go and perhaps setting aside some time to dig deeper and create more room so I can actually see what I have and what I need. While I'm at it, this might be a good time to rearrange things and take my closet to a new level of organization.

Now if only it were that easy to weed out my schedule.

What a Week!

So...the book came out this week (I might have already told you -- and everyone I know -- that little tidbit). Deanna Bartalini posted a wonderful review on CatholicMom.com and, as I type this, Know Thyself: The Imperfectionist's Guide to Sorting Your Stuff is the #1 new release in self-help for Catholics, and is in the top 100 in three other categories. Wow. Just...wow.

This isn't just a book for Catholics, though -- it's a book for anyone who reads this blog, anyone who has struggled to get organized and/or has come to the conclusion that they're irredeemably disorganized. You're not. You're just a square peg, trying to fit into a round hole or, more accurately, given the shape of most containers, the other way around.

As I look at the I need to see it piles that have taken shape as I focused on writing and teaching and promotion, I see that I have some work to do, and so I'm going to dig in. But I'm not going to beat myself up. I'm just going to use my styles to restore some order.

You can check out the first chapter of Know Thyself here. I hear it's a pretty good read. :-)

If you live in the York, PA area and/or would like to join me in a book celebration (or two...or three...)

use the contact form to the right of this post to send me your email address so I can send you

celebration information :-)

Kicking the Obstacles off the Path

Dodgerton Skillhause via Morguefile

It's summer (well, almost), a time for simplifying as much as possible so we can free up more time for fun. 

Like anyone else, I have obstacles to overcome if I want to keep things neat and running smoothly. Whether these obstacles emerge directly from my I need to see it personal style (see piling, below) or crop up when I'm feeling tired and/or unmotivated, they create a roadblock on the path to organization. 

Here are a three particularly persistent obstacles I'm trying to eliminate.

Piling. When I get busy, my personal style and my default organizational style (drop and run) kick in. I put things down and leave them out instead of putting them away. I set stacks of things aside, intending to get to them later. This isn't too bad if the stacks are meaningful and this process doesn't go on for too long. But, when this habit continues unchecked, I end up with a major project on my hands.
Solution? Don't put it down, put it away. As often as possible.

Procrastination. More often than not, the most difficult part of a project for me is simply getting started. Once I stop whining and start doing, I generally build enough momentum to get wrapped up in the task I was dreading. In addition, I find it much easier than I expected it to be, especially once I start to see progress.
Solution? Give it five. Knowing I can stop after five minutes helps me get started. And, since getting started is half the problem, setting the timer and digging in is often all it takes to motivate me to see the task through to completion.

Not writing things down. This one creates less obvious chaos than the others, but it creates plenty of mental chaos. I have notepads in plenty of locations and designated places for particular lists. When it comes to not writing it down, I really have no excuse.
Solution? Just do it.

What action (or inaction) obstacles are littering your path to organization?

Some Days, the Shoulds Don't Win

It's 6:35. I have a meeting in twenty-five minutes and no blog post on the horizon. In the spirit of taking my own advice, I'm going to shun the shoulds (I should write a new post!) and simply post some good news instead.

On Monday, the author copies of my book arrived! Yesterday, I received an email telling me that my book had received the Catholic Writers' Guild Seal of Approval and my editor posted an unboxing of her own, featuring my book and two other new releases from Our Sunday Visitor.

It's been a busy couple of days.

Know Thyself: The Imperfectionist's Guide to Sorting Your Stuff takes the ideas I write about every Wednesday and Thursday and puts them neatly between two covers. Its publication doesn't mean the end of this blog -- just that it will be a lot easier to find what you're looking for all in one place where it's neatly indexed.

I hope you'll check it out.

3 Keys Thursday: 3 Key Areas of Success

So, yesterday, I wrote about the time I spent whipping my pile of exams to reference into shape. That got me to thinking about the places where I rarely let things go -- those spaces where order reigns on a regular basis. Here are three of them.

I make my bed. This wasn't always the case, but when I read in one of Marcia Ramsland's books about the percentage of the room that was made tidy by this simple task, I made it a daily habit. It's a rare day that my bed isn't made. Many days, the neatness inspired by this simple act nudges me to clear up another space as well.

I keep on top of incoming mail. While there are times that my mail piles up in the short term, I don't let it get far. It took me a really long time to get my mail counter (in my kitchen) organized to my satisfaction, so making sure not to revert to old bad habits is really important to me. Because keeping this clear space clear matters, I'm motivated to keep after it.

I put my bathrobe away. Sounds silly, I know, but I mention this one because it's both an exception to my drop and run organizational style and a pathway to corralling that habit in other areas as well. Because it's as easy to put it away as it is to put it down (strategy #1), I'm no longer tempted to drop it and run. In the spirit of full disclosure, I must confess that this is a habit I cultivated only after reminding myself on multiple occasions, "don't put it down, put it away." (strategy #2)

Every baby step we take is a step in the direction of ongoing organization. What steps will you take today? What successes can you already claim?

Why We Shouldn't Should Ourselves

Pixabay

Some days, I run headlong into my work-in-progress status.

Yesterday was one of those days.

I needed to prepare an exam for my summer class. Easy peasy. Go to the file, pull out last summer's exam....Okay, it's not exactly filed. It's sort of piled and it's kind of on the floor.

In the spirit of full disclosure, there's no sort of or kind of about it. It was a pile. And it was on the floor. 

Right next to the box where it should have been filed.

The problem was, the box this stack of exams belonged in was full.

And that was where the system began to fall apart.

Add to that a heaping dose of busyness, a full measure of a lack of time and three cups of "I'll get to that later" and what should have been a five-minute task....

Wasn't.

As I write this post, the pile has been duly sorted, the old exams culled and shredded and the ones I need placed in a file of their own. There is clear floor space where there should be clear floor space, order where there should be order and I know exactly where to find every exam I have a copy of. I'd feel accomplished if I weren't so busy being embarrassed by the fact that the pile never should have taken shape in the first place.

Uh oh. Did you see what I just did there?

I shoulded myself.

While it's true that exams don't belong in a pile on the floor, once they are, indeed, on the floor, no amount of shoulding changes that. All it does is waste the time and energy I sh- -- oops -- need to spend instead on restoring order.

I could keep shoulding myself. I could go on about how I shouldn't have put any of the papers on the floor and shouldn't have added to the pile once it started. I could focus on the fact that the box is still full and it wouldn't be if I'd tackled the folder at the bottom of the box like I should have if I were going to do the job perfectly.

Oops. There it is. Should's traveling companion. "Perfectly."

lukasbieri via Pixabay

My pile is gone. Culled. Shredded. Filed. Organized. I have what I need right in my hand. These are good things. This is progress. And "should" and "perfectly" only drag me away from what I have accomplished into the morass of what I haven't.

I'm not suggesting that I let myself off the hook for that last folder and throw a party because I put things where they belonged, but I am saying (yet again) that it's a process. Sometimes, knowing when to stop for the day is just as important as knowing where to start.

And it's always a good time to stop shoulding ourselves.

3 Keys Thursday: 3 Keys to Dialing it Down (Part 2)

Dodgerton Skillhause via Morguefile

Last week, I shared three ways to use lists in our service, particularly in times of transition. This week, I have a few more ideas on finding the balance between frenzied and relaxed, but first I have something to share.

I was going through my inbox earlier this week (the numbers are declining, but not as quickly -- or easily -- as I'd like) when I stumbled across a piece called "The Hard Work of Being Lazy."

Boy, could I relate.

Here's the portion of the article that was in the newsletter, but you can read the whole piece here.

The Hard Work of Being ‘Lazy’

At times, perhaps without quite knowing why, we slip into a resolutely ‘lazy’ mood. We’re simply not able to do anything. All we have an appetite for, it seems, is to loll on the sofa. In such states of mind, we’re rapidly liable to be stigmatized as profoundly (and incorrigibly) ‘lazy’ by friends or – more painfully – by our own conscience. But, to consider the matter from another perspective, it might be that the real threat to our happiness and self-development lies not in our failure to be busy, but in the very opposite scenario: in our inability to be ‘lazy’ enough. Outwardly idling does not have to mean that we are neglecting to be fruitful. Busy people evade a different order of undertaking. They are practically a hive of activity, yet they don’t get round to working out their real feelings about their work. They are lazy when it comes to understanding particular emotions about a partner or friend. The next time we feel extremely lazy, we should imagine that perhaps a deep part of us is preparing to give birth to a big thought. As with a pregnancy, there is no point hurrying the process.

I love that last part -- the idea that what we label laziness is merely preparation for the next big thing -- a preparation that perhaps should not be rushed.

I was all set to be practical in this week's post, and to focus on things like establishing a routine (so we get into the habit of being productive) and selecting and pursuing daily goals (so we can check things off the list), but this piece has made me reconsider (once again) whether or not productivity is always the best end goal.

So, with the idea that "laziness" is perhaps something more -- and something to be valued -- here are three (more) keys for dialing it down.

Alexas_Fotos via Pixabay

Value down time. As it turns out, perhaps there's more going on there than we think. At the very least, we're recharging for what comes next. On those days when everything seems like an uphill journey, maybe hang back and stop pushing so hard.

Be aware of triggers. Can you pinpoint particular activities and/or times of day that trigger sluggishness? For me, it's mid-afternoon. No matter how many years it's been since I worked in an elementary school, my body still seems to be on that schedule. If I sit down in a comfy space between  2 pm and 4 pm, chances are good that a nap will be the next thing on my list. This is fine if I need the nap (and, as a night owl, many days I do), but if I want to avoid the nap, I need to avoid the trigger.

Be flexible. I struggle with this one. When I get into the zone, or have a long list prepared and I'm ready to dig in, I'm very resistant when another idea comes along, even if it's a better idea. When I find myself being too rigid, I need to remind myself what my big picture priorities are. An endless checklist does not usually make the cut.

Angeleses via Pixabay

It's no secret that balance is elusive; that's why one there's no one magical set of guidelines that helps us to achieve it. Only by tuning into ourselves instead of our lists can we take the steps to be both productive and peaceful, finding that sweet, sweet spot between frenzied and relaxed.

Efficiently Procrastinating

Pettycon via Pixabay

I have spent much of today efficiently checking things off my list. I worked on my course syllabus. I wrote a blog. I took my daughter to lunch. I cooked dinner. I did laundry.

Impressed?

Don't be. I've spent a large chunk of the day engaging in structured procrastination.

While it's true that all of these things needed to be done (except the lunch with my daughter. That was just for fun, but it was planned for today), I did them instead of another task I've been putting off.

The due date for the other task?

Tomorrow.

Why you might ask, have I been procrastinating so feverishly?

Well, I've asked myself exactly the same question, and several answers have come to mind. The two that sum it up are fear of the unfamiliar and not really knowing where to start.

In her book It's About Time, Dr. Linda Sapadin discusses six different procrastination personalities: perfectionists, dreamers, worriers, crisis makers, defiers and overdoers.

I think I've sampled nearly every one of those today.

Though I don't expect my project to be perfect, I am invested in a good outcome. My dreamer side (wouldn't that be a great idea?) feeds my overdoer tendency (I can squeeze one more thing in!) leading me to create a crisis where none would actually need to exist, and to needlessly worry about something that isn't really all that difficult. Though I'm not much of a defiant procrastinator, my choice to select other tasks over the one that's most pressing does carry a mild aroma of defiance.

Sigh.

Labels aside, the most pressing emotion I feel is fear. Fear that I won't do a good job. Fear that I'll look foolish. This fear leads me to be overwhelmed by the task so that instead of digging in, I find other things to do instead. Those things are legitimate, but they're also obstacles I'm placing in my own path.

Geralt via Pixabay

The solution? Dig in. Set aside the fear, sidestep the obstacles and the competing tasks and start somewhere, anywhere. Find a way in, give it a shot, let it develop, fill the blank page because a messy page is easier to edit than a blank one. If the first draft is terrible, I can fix it. If I start in the wrong place, I can change direction. But if I continue to do nothing, the problem remains unsolved, the task remains undone and the fear grows, fed by inertia and reluctance.


So, here I go. I'm taking the clothes out of the dryer and I'm taking baby steps. Perhaps they'll be in the right direction, perhaps I'll need to recalculate, but at least I'll be moving.

What are you avoiding? What baby steps can you take toward getting it done?