Productivity Postponement

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It's Wednesday afternoon and I'm finished class for the week. My husband is at work, my daughter is at the gym and the house is quiet.

My head, on the other hand, is not quiet. Not in the least. An empty house all to myself is a rarity these days and, when the door closes behind the last person to leave, I start contemplating all the things I could/should do, the "need to do" things colliding with the "want to do" things.

I need to write a blog post. (Here I am!)

I need to grade some papers.

I need/want to clear the clutter off the dining room table, but I don't need a quiet house for that so that  task will wait (which only makes me want to do it now).

I need/want to tackle the desk in my office but, that doesn't require the sound of silence either.

I want to sit down and read a good book, trouble shoot my Kindle issues and/or play a game on my iPad.

And then there are the articles that are coming due.

My mind is swirling and I'm tired and I haven't even done anything yet. Am I whining? I think I am.

I'm definitely not adulting well at all.

A friend of mine posted on social media the other day that the essence of parenting is interruption. This rang truer for me than anything I've heard or read in a long time (thank you, Carolyn Astfalk). As a work-at-home writer, I think I'd expand that even further. The essence of family life -- or perhaps just life -- is interruption.

I hate interruptions. My favorite thing in the entire world is a whole, entire, unscheduled day stretching out before me for me to fill as I -- and only I -- see fit. No deadlines in the form of ringing phones or message chimes, dinner to be made or appointments to be kept.

Just time.

No tiny time frames for big tasks. No to do lists filled with empty spaces where the check marks should be. No guilt because when I am being productive, I'm working when I should be paying attention to the other people who are in the house.

Just. Time. One of the few commodities I love more than chocolate

I suppose an endless succession of that kind of day could get lonely and even boring, but I can only imagine. I'd be willing to take one for the team and try out, say, a week or so of those days.

Back here in the real world, I'm trying to use the time between interruptions the best that I can, choosing the things I should do over the things I want to do, and attempting to keep my grumpiness to a minimum when the back door squeaks open and my haven is no longer just mine.

My wise friend Carolyn framed these feelings in this way:

"Apparently God is serious about the whole dying-to-self thing, and He's employed the cutest little humans to bring home the message."

I haven't had cute little humans running around my house for some time now, but I suppose three full-grown adults with different time schedules, needs and interests sharing the same small living space provides a similar lesson, especially when the three adults call themselves a family. And, while family life doesn't always lend itself to productivity, maybe there's a reason for that.

And clearly, some #deepthoughts lessons I need to learn.

Thanks, Carolyn.

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