Closing Loopholes

 

A few weeks ago, I got a new car. My well-loved, reliable Scion XA and I had been together for almost 17 years but, on a recent trip to Pittsburgh, I developed a wandering eye. It's a long time on the turnpike for a driver who goes mostly to work (or Starbucks) and back, and checking out the competition was as good a way as any to pass the time.

I was just looking. I loved my car and wasn't (yet) serious about trading her in.

Although, truth be told, I had done a little research. After lunch with a friend a few weeks before the Pittsburgh trip, I stopped into the dealership next to the restaurant to get some information.

Then I went to Pittsburgh. Shortly after I returned, my Scion's check engine light came on. It wouldn't be that expensive to fix it, relatively speaking, but my research told me that it would cost more than a car payment.

Trading in my car was a much more emotional experience than I anticipated. In fact, I did every mental manipulation possible to rationalize getting a new car and keeping my old one, too. 

In the end, logic prevailed. Tearfully, I emptied out my Scion, preparing to trade her in. Sadness turned to amazement, tinged with embarrassment.

 

How had I managed to fit all of this stuff in my little car? And why ?

About eight years ago, I wrote a blog post about things you'll find in my car, but not my husband's. They were: 

• Paper and a writing implement.

• Tissues or napkins (I have both). 

• A blanket. .

• An umbrella.  

These things were, as it turned out, a teeny, tiny sample of all the stuff that was in my Scion. Things were (mostly) organized, but please! Was all this stuff really necessary?

No. No, it was not.

When we own something for a long time, whether it's a house or a car, we accumulate stuff. And often, as long as there's space, we keep accumulating, sometimes to an embarrassing degree.

Even if we know better. Even if we write about organizing.

I hauled all the stuff into the house, determined to do better. I did a quick sort, immediately tossing the stuff that was easy to part with and separating the things I really did use from the things that were questionable. I tossed the blanket in with the laundry and left everything that remained in a box in the mudroom.

Over the next week, I slowly added things to the new car which is, I might add, significantly larger (i.e. more room to accumulate unnecessary stuff) than the old one. While the four things above were among the first to make it into the car, I made rules about what else could join them.

 

·      Before it went into the car, I had to know where it was going, i.e. glove box, that cool (new to me) compartment between the seats, or the trunk.

·      Seats are a home for people, not things.

·      If possible/practical, it needed to be contained (no loose items).

 

Regular readers know I’m not much of a hard-and-fast-rules kind of girl but these rules closed loopholes that had allowed an entire box full of (largely unnecessary) stuff to collect in my car. Most of the stuff in my car had had a home, but some of the homes (the back seat) weren’t the best choice. Most of the stuff in my car was contained, but the stuff that wasn’t made things look cluttered.

 

I’m happy to report that the rules are working. There is one piece of paper on the passenger’s seat, there to remind me of an errand I need to run. Otherwise, when I get into my new car, there’s a lovely new car sense of peace to go with the new car smell.

 

Are these the best rules for you? Maybe not. Maybe you need different rules to hone in on the things that cause clutter to collect in your car (or house). If so, I’d suggest starting small; fewer rules are easier to stick to. And I’d highly recommend starting a car organizing session by cleaning everything out, even if it means doing it in stages (the glove box one day, the trunk on another day). 

 

We spend a lot of time in our cars. We can’t control what goes on outside the vehicle (or even inside, some days), but we can control what we put in it.

Confessing Again

 When I was younger, summer was the time for re-runs. Between the final episodes of television shows in the spring and the fall premieres, networks re-aired episodes that had already run, and we had all summer to re-watch and/or catch up. 

That was, of course, before VCRs, DVRs, and streaming.

You might have noticed that this blog has gone to an every-other-Thursday posting schedule. A variety of factors led to this decision but, some weeks, the blog space looks bare. So, this summer, I decided to re-run some of my favorite Wednesday True Confessions posts in the weeks between Thursday posts. 

I hope you enjoy them.

True Confession #1: I am a container collector. Last weekend, as I was working on decluttering my office, I realized that the magazine holders I was using to corral my notebooks were the wrong tool for the job. Fortunately, I only had to go my basement to find an appropriate replacement.

Okay, I admit it. I love to wander the container aisles of, well, pretty much any store. Although I go home empty-handed most of the time (unless I'm in search of a particular item), that has more to do with my container collection than a high degree of self-control. Between the bags and organizers I have left over from my days selling Thirty-One gifts and the office/paper organizers I have left over from my days as a school counselor doing organizer giveaways, I have quite the selection on hand in my basement. When I don't have the tool that's "just right," I go shopping (excitedly and without hesitation) but most of the time, I check my inventory before I buy.

I do have a weakness for paper storage products, though, along with unique containers and, of course, bargains. Consequently, when I give in to temptation and buy something to add to my collection, it's usually out of dollar bins (or at the dollar store) or in the office supply aisle.

Last weekend, I was grateful for my collection. Within fifteen minutes of identifying the container as the problem, I'd found something better, replaced the magazine holders and improved the look of the counter in my office.

Did I get rid of the magazine holders? Please. They were perfectly reusable. Just because they didn't work in the office doesn't mean they won't work somewhere else.

So into the basement they went because, after all, there's nothing quite like a container that's a perfect fit.

Summer STYLE-ing

 I look forward to summer for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the opportunity to (literally) get my house in order. It's not that it has fallen to pieces but, by the end of a busy semester, it's easy to see where my style-based solutions have conquered clutter and where clutter has won the war. Coupling the not-so-subtle visual hints with the list of organizing projects I've been meaning to get to leads to a to-do list that ensures that I'll restore order in time for fall.

Theoretically.

So far, I've tackled my sock drawers (yes, plural), along with an area of our basement. I know the sock drawers were a weird place to start, but they've been bugging me for months, and it makes me smile every time I open them and see how nice they look (and how easy it is to find what I'm looking for). The basement is another (long) story. There's no way it'll be whipped into shape this summer, but I'll take whatever progress I can make.

When I start a big project (or a list of projects), I often consider the STYLE acronym.

But, since regular readers already know the drill, so to speak, I thought I'd create a summer STYLE list that's a little more directive as we attempt to dig into our organizing lists without making summer all work and no play.

S: Avoid the urge to stash stuff. You know you want to just put it somewhere, anywhere so you don't have to look at it any longer (just me?). But, we also know that creates a whole new set of problems, from not being able to find what we need when we need it to creating another space that will need to be sorted and organized. If the situation calls for a stashing of the stuff (a last resort), try containing (all of) it (as is) instead. Only you will know that that pretty basket or tote is concealing the pile that was on the dining room table and, if you keep everything together, it'll be easier to retrieve what you need.

Take other users into account. Everyone's home - yeah! Everyone's dropping stuff and running - meh! As you organize the cluttered spaces, remember that, unless you want to be permanently responsible for keeping them tidy, it might be a good idea to consider other users' styles when you choose your tools. 

You know what works. The foundation of Organizing by STYLE is trusting your default styles, so, when shiny objects appear promising magical organizing solutions, run them through your styles filter. Stick to the tools that are a fit for the way you think and organize and be very wary of anything pretty that promises a quick fix. Lasting is better than fast.

Leave it alone. It's summer! Warm weather and long days beckon. Resist the urge to create a perfect house and focus your energy on what needs to be done (or what you're most motivated to do). If a space is tidy enough, walk away. 

Enjoy it all -- the clear spaces and the spots that harbor clutter dropped by the people we're blessed to spend summer with. Organized is nice, but it isn't everything.

Happy organizing -- whether you're starting with what's visible, or that thing that's been on your list for months!

When Life Changes, Does the Organizing Magic Fade?

 When Know Thyself came out, Marie Kondo was all the rage. I was launching a book and she was launching a Netflix series. She was guest starring on late night TV and I was guest starring at my local Starbucks.

Formidable competition indeed. We weren't even in the same league.

A few months ago, I read that Marie Kondo has given up on tidiness. Now that she's a parent, her priorities have shifted, and time with her kids trumps the magic of tidying up, no matter how life-changing it might once have been. 

I've been pondering this post for quite a while, trying to find the right tone -- one that is gracious and compassionate rather than snarky and know-it-all but, the truth is, I can't help but feel a little smug. While I can't argue with her priorities, I'm a bit surprised that she didn't plan for this eventuality -- the day when she'd have to master the art of being both tidy and parental. 

In all fairness, I can't imagine that Marie Kondo has gone from tidy to tornado. But her book, like so many others in the organizing genre, fell prey to a central idea that marketers love, but living, breathing humans with full lives and families quickly recognize as a trap. That idea?

There is only one way to do this right.

Organization has to be sustainable, which means it needs to be flexible. It needs to account for the life you're living now, and the one you'll be living in six months, two years, five years, or more. It needs to take into account what is consistent, and what isn't, and be able to adjust to those changes.

What's consistent? You are. How you think and how you approach life should be built into how you organize. As your life changes, your systems may change, too, but they should change with you. It's exhausting to go back to the drawing board and rethink tidiness every time you move, grow, change, or add family members. 

I'm teetering dangerously on the edge of judgy here, so let me say this. Marie Kondo (who seems like a perfectly charming and lovely person) did a lot of good for a lot of people. But if you, like me, are not one of those people, that's okay. Life changes, and we change, which is why one method of organizing does not work for everyone, and any book that promises you a one-size-fits-all answer is, in my opinion, a temporary fix, at best. 

Organizing aside, there are two things I wanted readers to take away from Know Thyself: 

1. No matter how much clutter is in your life, you are neither hopelessly disorganized nor broken. There is a way forward.
2. When it comes to organizing, as with so many other things, one size does not fit all. Your organizing systems should be developed around you: your uniqueness, your foibles, your habits, your life, and your family -- no matter its size.
   

I've never met Marie Kondo, but I suspect we agree on #1, and even on some elements of #2. But if life changes send you back to the organizing drawing board, perhaps it's time to find a plan that has the potential to grow and change right along with you.

3 Keys Thursday: 3 Keys to Creating an Organizational To-Don't List

 Of all the STYLE letters, E for Easy Upkeep gets the least amount of attention. It's what we aim for, using systems that match our styles as our road map, but it doesn't actually come with a road map of its own. 

So, life happens, clutter happens and, some days, the upkeep isn't so easy. Frustration follows, and we fall back into the trap of feeling hopelessly disorganized.

But we're not. What's happened is that we (and our systems) have become overwhelmed and we need to step back and think about not just what comes next, but also what got us here.

Recently, I wrote a whole post about "to-don't lists" over on The Porch Swing Chronicles, and it got me thinking about how a to-don't list might apply to organization. It seemed useful, but, in the spirit of useful to-don't lists, I wanted to avoid making it a negative, scolding, cringe-worthy thing. 

Enter the abridged "to-don't" list: a very short, specific, single-item list, prompted by a single question. What one rule could possibly have prevented the pile-up? 

At my house, the dining room table rarely stays clear for more than a week. Much as I'd like to point fingers, the truth is that the fingers pointing back at me are the most accurate reflection of where the problem lies. A single, simple to-don't rule applies: "Don't put it down, put it away."

And it works. Until it doesn't. So maybe I need something even simpler -- something like "Don't put papers on the dining room table."

If I followed that rule, I'd eliminate probably 90% of the clutter that accumulates.

Three things need to be true of our organizing "to-don't" lists. 

• They need to consist of a single rule. No one wants to be nagged and negative self-talk just sends us back into the "I'm so disorganized" spiral, which neither solves the problem nor makes us feel good about ourselves.
• The rule needs to be clear. The more open to interpretation it is, the easier it is to make excuses.
• The rule needs to be easy to follow. "Don't put it down, put it away" works great for me most of the time. But, when I'm tired and/or overwhelmed, I promise myself I'll do the "put it away" part tomorrow and, before I know it, the clutter is winning.

I cannot stress enough that the tone of the "to-don't" rule should be less command than light-hearted, humorous, and/or nurturing. Why? Because nagging never (successfully) accomplished anything. In addition, Organizing by STYLE is about remembering that you are at the center of the process, and you deserve to be treated nicely. 

Even when you make mistakes. 

Even when the paper clutter obscures the pretty tablecloth. 

Even when the same zone magnetically acquires clutter again and again because the three steps to put it where it belongs feel like three steps too many.

Some days, the clutter wins. But, if we have the right tools in our arsenal, we can emerge triumphant (and feeling good about ourselves) more often than not.

It's a process.

Then and Now: When it Doesn't All Fit

 

Then:

 It's 9:50 pm and I am just starting this post. It's far to say that I'm a little overbooked.

Although I love to be busy isn't my primary style, I do sometimes bite off a tad more than I can chew. When that happens, things pile up, and even making a list of what I need to do can be stressful because that means admitting everything I have to do.

As I see it, there are three ways to dig out when you're overwhelmed.

All at once. Pick a time, grit your teeth and power through. Give yourself a little leeway if you can by setting aside more time than you think you'll need, and don't despair if you don't make it all the way through. You're aiming for progress, not perfection.

A little at a time. No big chunks of time available? Five minutes here and fifteen minutes there can still lead to progress. It's slower going, so the piles linger and the to-do lists stay long for longer, but sometimes, it's the only option. Again, you're aiming for progress, not perfection.

The delegation plan. Is all of this really yours to do? Hand off what you can hand off (and be willing to accept the manner in which the person you delegated the job to does the job) and tackle the rest using one of the plans above. And hey, progress is still progress whether you did it yourself or assigned it to someone else.

If you, like me, have been here before, you've probably learned that what's important gets done and what falls through the cracks might just have landed exactly where it belongs. Take it one step at a time and forge your path. And, if it doesn't all get done...

Tomorrow is another day.

Now: A few weeks ago, I took on a new project, doing some work for a textbook company. I'm enjoying it, and I have no regrets...but I also don't have any extra hours in the day, so something has to give. Often, since the project is a cross between my writing and my teaching, it's my writing time that gets pushed aside, and new blog posts fall by the wayside. While delegation isn't my best thing (I'm used to having jobs where it isn't an option), it's my friend right now, at least until I get through this project. But, each day, I put writing on my list, optimistic that I won't run out of day before I run out of list. Some days, I get there, some days I don't. But each day is a new opportunity to set my priorities and make progress.

A little at a time.