3 Keys Thursday: 3 Keys to Having a Happy Thanksgiving

As I finish writing this post, I'm full of turkey, which means I'm behind schedule. This was supposed to posted early in the day, made possible by the fact that my husband is in charge of all meals containing turkey.

But it still didn't happen. I considered ditching this post altogether -- I mean, who'd know? -- but decided it was never too late to have a Thanksgiving frame of mind.

Be grateful. I know, it's kind of the meaning of the holiday but, admittedly, this year it's a bit of a challenge. All the more reason to focus on what we have, even if it's not exactly what we want. The benefits of gratitude are numerous, making it worthwhile to make today the day we make counting our blessings a regular habit.

Be hopeful. This year's Thanksgiving is the first of its kind in our lifetime, and I have to believe that the sacrifices we're making are in the service of better celebrations to come. It's hard to be hopeful in light of all we have lost but, without hope, things feel even worse. Optimism doesn't mean denying reality; it means believing there are better days ahead.

Monicore via Pixabay

Be kind. However we celebrate, close quarters and high anxiety are likely part of the day. Respecting boundaries, even if we don't agree with or even understand them, and reaching out in kindness, whether it's offering to do the dishes or leaving a generous tip for those who are working today, can be a bright spot in a November that feels even darker than usual.

However you celebrate, and with whomever, I wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving. Here's to pulling out all the stops next year.

True Confessions Wednesday: Problem Solving

True confession #47: Organizing feeds my problem-solving side. 

I don't know why it took me so long to figure this out but, there you have it. I love how organizing helps me begin with chaos, brainstorm a solution, put it into action, and end up with order. 

From this perspective, organizing by STYLE was a game changer because it gave me a lens through which to view both the clutter and the eventual solution. Knowing something about how things need to look when I'm finished (I need to see them and I need to be able to put them away quickly, often on my way to the "next thing") makes it easier to get from order to chaos. In addition, I love the challenge of finding the "just right" container -- one that fits the space, serves the purpose, and looks good in the process. Best of all, I love the clear space that results when the clutter gets sorted, the excess gets purged, and the treasures get put away. 

It's a wonderful feeling of accomplishment.

But, the true test of any solution is whether or not it's sustainable long-term. Some spots require a bit of trial and error while others are easily whipped into shape. When that happens, I'm one step closer to my unattainable goal: a perfectly organized life.

A girl can dream.

3 Keys Thursday: 3 Keys for Deciding Whether or Not to do One Last Thing

Yesterday, I wrote a mea culpa blog post. Today I wore a "The goal is peace, not perfection" T-shirt and jeans to class. 

It’s one of those weeks. And, lately, several of them have collided.

Ideally, we learn not to overbook ourselves in the first place. In reality, however, sometimes the things we want to do insert themselves into our schedules at inopportune times, or on days that are already full. While it's sometimes possible to plan around these collisions, there are times when things are scheduled when they're scheduled and we just have to make it work.

As I alternately limp/slide/dance into the end of the semester, I'm having a lot of those days. Here are three key ideas I'm trying to keep in mind.

Just because there are still hours left in the day (until midnight) does not mean I need to complete a task today. That was where I found myself last night. I'd had a blog post idea early in the day, but the list of things I needed to do between idea and execution was long enough that I found myself trying to eke out a post during the 11:00 news. Not smart. (Also not the first time). When I finally gave myself permission to write my stream-of-consciousness list post (a proposition that was both simpler and faster), I managed to get something posted with much less angst and drama than laboring through the initial post would have generated. Sometimes good enough really is good enough -- and now I even have a post planned for next week. 

Think priorities. Is that thing on the list one of the most valuable things in our life? If not, is it worth sacrificing the things that are valuable (family, sleep) just to check it off the list? Stephen Covey's exhortation to put first things first is a good rule to live by. Sometimes, we get so caught up in our lists and other people's priorities that we forget about the unspoken items at the very top of the list. Hanging out with my daughter (the activity that pushed that blog post over the top) really was more important than writing the post I set out to write in the first place.

Take a page out of Scarlet O’Hara‘s book. Tomorrow really is another day. Will everything fall apart if what’s left on the list waits until then?

There will always be times when we are overwhelmed, and times when we struggle to balance our responsibilities to others with responsibility to ourselves. The funny thing is that cutting ourselves some slack is perhaps the best thing we can do for everyone involved. 

So, go ahead. Curl up with that cup of tea or glass of wine and nudge those last few items onto a list for another day (better yet, delegate them!) A little down time now might just be the thing that lifts you up for tomorrow.

It's the last full week of a very unusual semester. I had a blog post topic all picked out and ready to go but it is now after midnight. I tried to write it, but my brain refused to cooperate.

So, instead, I thought I'd share with you what I did today instead of writing a blog post.

• I taught two split classes, with half of my students on Zoom and half in the room.

• I graded some assignments and returned a few student emails. 

• I did a CVS run to pick up a gift card, a prescription and spend my Extra-Care bucks.

• I unpacked the new dishes I ordered (well, I took the small boxes out of the big box, anyway. The actual unpacking and rearranging of cupboards will have to wait until next week).

• I did a little sorting in my office to keep the paper piles from multiplying.

• I read a manuscript for tonight's critique group meeting and a chapter in one of the NBIC books I got in the mail yesterday. 

• I made dinner and ate with my family. 

• I attended a virtual writer's group meeting and a virtual critique group meeting.

• I placed two online orders.

• I had some down time with my daughter.

In other words, I did what any number of moms do on any given Wednesday.

So why am I sharing it here?

Because this has been a very unusual semester and, for the first time in close to five years, this blog has taken a hit. And I want you to know I'm neither lazily eating bon bons nor ignoring you.

Next week, everything shifts again. Classes end and it's all over but the grading (and final presentations). 

And I will have time to do more than think up post topics. If all goes according to plan, I'll have time to write them too, and get that third Marita/Angel/Charli book out. 

I can't wait.

3 Keys Thursday: 3 Key Questions for that Maybe Moment

Almost three years ago, I declared the upcoming year my Year of No. Like many people, I have a tendency to take on too much (can you identify, I love to be busy friends?) I was determined to develop the habit of stepping back and taking a moment to think before I committed.

The other day, a new kind of writing project came my way. As you can imagine, I have a weak spot for writing-related projects, but I also have a substantial pile of writing projects in progress. 

Do I need another one?

If you, too, have found yourself in this situation, here are three questions that might help with the decision-making process.

Do I have to do it? There are plenty of things I'd say no to if I could, but they're necessary to keep our household running or required by my employer. These are things that make the list, whether it's the year of no or not. Several examples spring readily to mind, but I shall refrain from naming them on the grounds that they'll make me look bad.

Does it make me happy or serve a purpose that matters to me? It's rare that I actually have an empty space on my calendar that's begging to be filled but if an opportunity arises that excites me, does good, or advances a cause or goal that matters to me, I'll probably say yes and make room one way or another. A perfect example of this arose around the same time I established my Year of No, kicking it off spectacularly by auditioning for a scripted show for the first time in almost two decades. The gains were more than worth the losses, especially since the former included friendships that continued far beyond the last curtain call.

Am I doing this because I want to or because someone else wants me to? This is the hardest one. There were times that the "no" that protected my time made someone else unhappy, or even angry. The line between self-care and selfish can feel precariously thin but, in the end, since the time expenditure is mine, so, too, is the final decision -- and any fallout that arises.

Learning to step back and create a maybe moment between the request and the assent has helped to ensure that I'm spending my time on the things I want to spend time on, even if I do still overcommit more often than I ought to. And, when I say no, more often than not what I feel is relief, not regret.

As for that writing project, I've decided not to decide -- yet. I need to do more research on just how complicated and time consuming it will be, and whether or not it's a good fit for me and vice versa. Only then will I know if it's something I want to pursue. So, I'm taking my time, and pondering my three questions, and making sure my answer is the right one for me.

The Whys of Organization

Organization is, indeed, a process -- a dynamic approach that allows us to live in harmony with our things, instead of just focusing on putting things away. Each of us has different reasons for wanting to be organized -- the "why" behind our desire to strengthen both our skills and our systems. 

Our "why" becomes the momentum that drives the process; whether we organize to find things when we need them, to enjoy the sense of mastery a clear space brings with it, or to create a sense of peace around us, our "why" shapes our systems and plays a role in our styles. What an organizational system based on our whys and our styles lacks in perfection, it makes up for in efficiency because we have fit it into our lives instead of the other way around.

When I was writing Know Thyself, I asked some friends about their whys, and I thought it would be fun to share some of them here. 

Can you identify? Or is your why something completely different?

A Week of Organization

jackmac34 via Pixabay

Regular readers know I'm a big fan of taking small steps. But, when clutter encroaches, small steps don't seem like enough.

How about one small step every day? Try out the organizational acrostic below to make a little bit of progress in a lot of spaces over the course of a week, whether you've got five minutes, fifteen minutes or an hour. 

Magazine Monday. Grab a pile of magazines or catalogs (let the amount of time you have dictate the size of the pile you start out with). Toss or recycle the ones you no longer want. Find a home for any you want to keep. The bonus round: Stop subscriptions to anything you tossed out unread.

Toss it Tuesday. Find a surface that's supposed to be clear (but isn't) and sort things into two piles: keep or get rid of. Decide what to do with the things you no longer want (throw away, recycle, give away, consign). Save the rest for tomorrow. The bonus round: Actually deliver the giveaways and consignables to their destination.

What do I do with this Wednesday. Return to yesterday's "keep" pile and find a home for everything in it. The bonus round: As you put things away, pick up anything else you see that goes in the same place(s).

Think it through Thursday. Find a spot in your house that needs an organizational upgrade. What do you like about the system you have now? What needs improvement? With your preferred styles and container styles in mind, can you think of a better solution? The bonus round: Give a new container a test run to see if it solves the problem.

File it Friday. Dig into that "to be filed" pile and make some progress. More paperless than paper-heavy? Take a look at your inbox and see what needs to be filed -- or deleted -- there. The bonus round: Choose one file folder and sort through it, getting rid of outdated paperwork.

Stylin' Saturday. Take a space from practical organization to pretty organization. Add a dash of color or a pattern like plaid or paisley, or replace a worn or boring container with one that makes you smile every time you use it. The bonus round: Use colored boxes or file folders inside a drawer to jazz it up and make it easier to find what you're looking for.

Siesta Sunday. Take a break! You've earned it. 

Two Tools for Every Style

Pixabay

When it comes to Organizing by STYLE, individuality is key. We identify our styles and use them to create organizational systems that fit and are, therefore, sustainable.

But even though our systems work best when they're individualized, the same tool often works for many styles. Here are two tools that can be personalized to fit every style.

Lists. While these serve as proof of accomplishment for the I need to see it personal style, they serve as item locators for those with the I know I put it somewhere organizational style and as a plan of attack for those with an I love to be busy personal style. Whether they're on brightly colored paper, tucked into a planner, written backwards (things I accomplished today) or forward (things I need to do tomorrow), lists are one of the most adaptable organizational tools ever.

Containers. Choosing containers that match our styles increases our motivation to put things away instead of down, and to use the organizational systems we set up. Cram and jammers whose containers are large and/or flexible are less likely be defeated by crumpled, ripped or broken items. I love stuff folks protect their collections by containing them in ways that keep them safe and out of harm's way. I know I put it somewhere organizers can use clear bins to reveal the safe hiding places for their prized items and those with a drop and run organizational style are more likely to put things where they belong if they simply forgo the lid and go for one-step containing. 

Finding tools that work and adapting them to our styles leads to habits and systems that work because they've arisen out of what comes naturally. And, once we learn to use those tools consistently, we're on the path to easy upkeep.