Way Back Wednesday: Fighting Organization Insecurity

I'm closing in on the middle of the semester and piles are beginning to form. Unfortunately, none of them has any fantastic blog post ideas, so I decided to share one from the archives. Enjoy!

When it comes to organization, I'm a work-in-progress. I know what works for me, I know what to do and I know how to do it.

The trouble is, those things don't take me all the way to the finish line which means that even though I am organized, I don't always look organized. When time and energy cooperate, I generally come out on the winning end of the organization bargain, but often, they don't and I'm left with a gap between what I know and what I can accomplish. This annoys me, but even worse, it leaves me feeling vulnerable and somewhat lacking in the sense of humor department, especially when I get teased about my I need to see it piles.

At one time or another, I think that all of us feel like organization frauds. Whether it's our I need to see it or drop and run piles that give us away, or the I know I put it somewhere or cram and jam styles that leave us hoping guests won't look beyond our clear surfaces to see what's hiding behind door #1, we're always a little insecure about whether or not we're doing this organization thing right.

More often than not, we are, especially since "right" is defined by the user of the system. If we can find what we want when we want it, we're functionally organized, which is what matters most.

Still, there are those days when logic is insufficient to compensate for our organizational insecurities. Here are a few key pieces of advice for "one of those days."

Ditch perfection. No one is perfectly organized. Ask any Type A organizer to point to the flaws in her system, and she'll probably give you a list. Although a perfectly organized home and/or office is lovely, there's so much more to life than chasing organizational perfection. Know when to walk away from that need for perfection and read a book, take a nap or spend time with the people you love.

Start with successes. This first step in the STYLE process is meant to remind us of the things we're doing right. As an I need to see it/drop and run girl, I've learned what works for me but often, instead of seeing all the things I'm doing right, I focus on the piles of homeless items that seem to pop up relentlessly. If you must focus on what remains to be done (and, some days, we must), remember to counterbalance it with all you've learned and accomplished so far. Chances are, that will tip the scales in your favor (even if some organizing remains to be done).

Remember that it's a process. Thanks to a steady flow of items into our homes, whether groceries possessions, or some combination of the two, organizing is one of those life tasks that is never finished. In some ways, this is a good thing. Putting strategies in place that keep things from crossing over to the organizational dark side helps to stem the tide and gives us practice building organizational skills that work for us so that, over time, we become more efficient.

Accepting that when it comes to organization, things will never be perfect or finished can encourage us to cut ourselves a little slack. Once we stop beating ourselves up, we can use that misplaced energy to put a few more things away or come up with a new strategy that makes life easier.

Or maybe even develop a sense of humor.

3 Keys Thursday: 3 Kid-Friendly Keys

Yesterday, I posted about organizing with kids. Since the "kid" at my house is 22, it's been a long time since I actually did any organizing with the under-12 set, but there are some keys to getting organized that work with organizers of any age. Here are three I think are especially important when working with the younger set.

• Watch your words. Some are loaded and, in my mind, "messy" is one of them. In fact, I dislike he connotations of "mess" so much that I made sure not to include it anywhere in Know Thyself -- a book intended for adults! You'll find plenty of instances of clutter (the word, not the actual piles) because clutter seems like something we can take control over. Mess, used often enough, becomes something we internalize and use to describe ourselves instead of the situation. When that happens, we can buy into the idea that change isn't possible. Whenever possible, choose to make an observation instead -- "Wow, that's a lot of Legos!" or "That pile is really tall." Then, make like a Jeopardy contestant and put your next sentence in the form of a question. "Do you think you can find them a home?" or "Do you think you can make it shorter?"

• Listen. We often reveal our styles in the things we say, and kids are no different. As someone with an I need to see it personal style, I express this need when I say things like, "I'm afraid if I put it away, I'll forget to do it" or "I'm still a paper-and-pencil girl." While small children need adults to model possible solutions, older kids often have a good idea of what works for them -- and it might be different from what works for the adults around them.

• Give ownership. Organization is a life skill and the sooner we let kids try out their ideas (especially when ours aren't working for them), the better. When stuff's not getting put away, try asking your child if he or she has a better idea, and then let him give it a try. 

About now, you're probably thinking it'd be easier to do it yourself -- and you're right. It would be. And, if you still want to be picking up your child's things three years from now, go ahead and do it yourself. But, if you look forward to the day when clutter does not abound and your kids pick up after themselves, you might just have to bite the bullet and let them try out their ideas.

After all, there's no better training than on-the-job training.

Organizing with Kids

Alexas Fotos

Once upon a time, I had to change offices at work. I wasn't happy about it but opted to make lemonade out of lemons and use the move as an impetus to get organized. I read, I watched HGTV, and I tried out tools. I got so excited by what I was doing and the ideas I was coming up with that I decided to share all of it with my then-clientele, elementary school kids.

And Organizing by STYLE was born.

These days, I write about organizing by STYLE mostly for an adult audience, so it's easy to forget that all of this had its beginnings in my office -- literally -- with style names created for the under-12 set. And, although it transfers well to adults who are motivated to clean up their (our) act, organizing by STYLE works for kids, too.

How?

Well, as with adults, it helps to start with the styles. If you live with kids, you've probably already figured out their styles but, if you want to loop them in and encourage them take control of their own stuff, you might want to go through the styles quiz with them to help them discover their styles for themselves. Chances are they won't be surprised but naming their personal and organizational styles is the first step to helping them choose tools they might actually use. With your help, they can select the organizers that work for them, which increases the chances that things might actually get put where they belong.

Here are a few guidelines that often work when organizing with kids:

• Make it clear. Even if your child's personal style isn't I need to see it, clear bins and drawers might just reduce the number of times you hear, "Mom, I can't find my...." 

• Go topless. While it's true that lids hide clutter, they can also be a barrier to putting things away. Something as simple as leaving the hamper open can sometimes increase the number of dirty clothes that make it to their destination.

• Make it pretty...or fun...or both. Organizing and cleaning up can be a chore, especially for kids. While the visual appeal of a tool has little bearing on its functionality, I believe we're more likely to use something we like and/or something that adds a bit of whimsy to our organizing.

• Be flexible....especially if your child has a tendency to cram and jam. Open, fabric bins are a lot more forgiving than plastic bins with lids -- and therefore likely to lead to more things in the container and fewer things on the floor.

• Keep it simple -- to one step, if possible. The more steps it has, the more time it takes and the less likely it is that the process will be followed through to the end.

As with adults, one size won't fit all kids, and it's likely to take time, trial and error to get things to the point where they're running smoothly. With kids, as with adults, it's a process, but one well worth the time we spend on it.

3 Keys Thursday: 3 Keys to Easy Upkeep

 

It's been a busy semester, one where I'm grateful for the organizing progress I made before things got busy. Still, because organizing is a process, it's something I have to keep up with, even in areas where I managed to arrive at Easy Upkeep.

This can be challenging when things get busy and time is at a premium. Here are three key strategies I'm using to keep things manageable until I have time to dig in and get things more fully under control.

One in, one out. Part of staying organized is balancing the flow between what comes in and what goes out. If you get rid of something old when you get something new, it helps keep things in balance. I'm also using this now to slowly put away summer things and take out fall things, making an even exchange wherever possible.

Give it Five! Sometimes, chipping away at things is the best we can do. Even five minutes here and there can help keep clutter under control. The piles may not disappear, but they might stay manageable.

Don't put it down, put it away! If you got to Easy Upkeep, things have homes. Put them there.

I keep telling myself that things will slow down and I'll have time to fully engage with my stuff. Until then, using these strategies will help me keep clutter under control as well as building habits that will ensure that the upkeep stays easy.

Fresh Start for Fall

Last night, I got to kick off CatholicMom.com's fall webinar series, Fresh Start for Fall. In my webinar, "Works-in-Progress: Organization and Self-Care in a Time of Pandemic," I reviewed the STYLE process regular readers are already familiar with, and extended it to self-care.

I had a blast! 

Danielle Bean, Brand Manager at CatholicMom.com was kind enough to put together a downloadable, printable PDF journal that can be used as a follow-up to the webinar, or as a tool to consider your own STYLE-ish self-care.

Even though organization is a life skill, the life we're leading now can make it seem almost trivial. Still, the combination of good organization and good self-care can help us keep some sense of calm and normalcy in a time that feels anything but.

If you'd like to check out any of the other webinars, you can find them here. 

3 Keys Thursday: 3 Key (Quick) Organizing Baby Steps

Yesterday, I shared my struggling to juggle situation, alluding to the necessary adjustment of taking small steps by tackling my projects in stages.

But what if you lack the time and energy to do much of anything? Well, aside from (or in addition to) taking a nap (a strategy I've been employing almost daily since fall semester started), you can take really small steps and Give it 5! To do this, zoom in on one task, set a time for five minutes, and dig in. When the timer goes off, you're finished. 

Unless of course you happen to have five more minutes and the inclination to continue.

If you want to go smaller still, here are three things you can do in less than five minutes. They won't overhaul a problem area, but they'll make a dent (reactive) or prevent problem areas from forming (proactive).

• Put one thing where it belongs - Proactive: Put the thing you're holding in your hand away, not down or in a safe place. Reactive: Pick up something someone put where it doesn't belong and return it to its home.

• Sort one pile. Proactive: Keep a pile from forming in the first place by putting away those loose papers on your desk, shoes on the floor or clothes on the chair. Reactive: Pick a number and deal with that many objects, tossing the things you don't want to keep and putting away those you do.

• Deal with the mail. Proactive: Take an extra moment to pull out the junk mail and catalogs before you drop the mail on a counter or table. Save or toss the catalogs and toss the junk mail. Reactive: Same thing, after the fact. Pull anything that's not a keeper out of the mail pile so that when you have time to tackle the mail, all that remains is the items that are actionable.

With so much emphasis on staying healthy and keeping up with everything that needs to be done, I sometimes worry that I'm losing my social skills. In that vein, I'd like to add one more quick item that doesn't have anything to do with organization, but might just energize you: text or email a friend. This morning, walking to class, I turned on the dictation function on my phone and dictated a quick email to a friend I'd been meaning to contact for over a week. After a quick read-through to make sure autocorrect hadn't thrown in any curve balls, I hit send and went to class with a smile.

Sometimes, all we need is a little motivation. 

True Confessions Wednesday: Juggling Act

True Confession #42: I'm currently in a "struggling to juggle"phase. I heard a rumor that there are people who are bored from too much time at home. Others have run out of things to watch on television. I can promise you that none of those people are teachers at any grade level or parents of school-aged (or younger) children, unless, perhaps, they have tutors and domestic help. Some days, we feel as though we're in a bad episode of Candid Camera but bored? Not even close. 

I cannot remember the last weekday when a nap was not essential if I intended to be even remotely human for the rest of the day. In fact, as I type this, I'm trying to decide if I want to stop typing right now or take a nap after I post this. Either way, sleep is in the equation, sooner rather than later.

I've always lived right on the edge of the line between I need to see it and I love to be busy, but I didn't bargain on the learning curve that came with the busyness this fall. And whether it's a learning curve that requires ropes and pulleys, a schedule that leaves you hanging on for dear life, or simply a little too much reality, these are the times when our best-laid organizational schemes begin to show wear and tear. And, as for our organizational weak spots? They start falling apart at the seams. 

My beautifully clear counter? A repository for my class planning materials. My almost-always clear mail counter? About a week behind. My to-do lists? Scraps of paper that I'm afraid to transfer to one list because I fear it will be longer than I am tall.

My mantra for these times has become "one thing at a time," or, some days, "all in good time." (And some days, "I can't even look at that right now.") Not original, I know, but the first two bear repeating, at least until I get into a routine befitting the latest rendition of the new normal.

How do we know where to start when it seems that everything is calling to us? That will depend on our styles. As someone with an I need to see it personal style, I knew I needed to reduce the visual clutter because visual overload increases my stress level and decreases my productivity. A cram and jammer might need to take action when a container is overflowing, while someone with an I love to be busy personal style may take a break because the slots on her calendar are overflowing. The I love stuff person may be unable to find her favorite treasure (or may need a home for a new one), while the drop and run organizer may no longer be able to follow his trail and the I know I put it somewhere organizer reaches the organizing breaking point after putting one thing too many in a safe place.

Whether you start with what's most frustrating, most obvious, or most time sensitive, keep in mind that this, too, shall pass. And, until it does, being patient with yourself and doing what you can is the best way to take small steps that can lead you in the right direction.

For me, that direction was the restoration of the counter in my office. Last weekend, I came up with a plan that let me see things and keep them organized, but required a significantly smaller footprint. In addition, I transferred some of the materials I'm finished with into what will be archival storage. The rest will have to wait until this weekend, unless I manage to eke out a few five-to-fifteen-minute slots between now and then. Either way, I'm excited to be on the path to clear space again.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I am quite certain that I've earned my nap.

3 Keys Thursday: Finding 3 Keys to a Successful Work-From-Home Experience

When I retired, my daughter was in high school. My husband would leave for work, she'd leave for school and I'd have the house to myself until first she, then he, came home. 

Initially, the house was too quiet but, eventually, I not only got used to it, I came to enjoy the solitude and the silence. If I wanted to work on a writing project or plan for a class, the only indoor distractions I had were of my own making. Outside, there were street sweepers and garbage trucks and lawn services, but I could usually escape those by moving to another part of the house. 

Last March, when everyone moved home to work, it was nice. We each carved out a work space and it was nice having everyone around.

But now I'm over it.

Don't get me wrong -- I love having my family home. But, as I adjust to a challenging semester requiring more planning and steeper learning curves than usual, every noise, every interruption, every departure from the routine I've crafted sets me on edge. It's official: I'm no fun.

Last weekend, it all came to a head. Guilt over the lack of enthusiasm I felt having everyone home collided with frustration over the amount of time everything was taking and the fear that all the work I was doing was still not enough to make things go right. I had a little meltdown and a good cry and gave some thought to the things I need in order to have a successful work-from-home experience.

A balance between a quiet house and a busy house. I love having my family here, but a busy house is not conducive to getting work done. I need to ditch the guilt and be up front with my family about what I need. I also need to stick to my guns (as my mom would say) and declare myself off-limits (except for emergencies) when I need to get things done. 

The ability to turn a blind eye toward all the household things that capture my attention and/or need to be done. When I leave the house to go to work, I can no longer see what needs to be done here, something that's a big deal for someone with an I need to see it personal style. When I work from home, I need to decide whether to chip away at the things I can't help but see, or walk on by and deal with them later. Then, I need to stick to the plan. 

A line of demarcation between work time and non-work time. I'm writing this blog post approximately 12 hours later than my preferred writing/posting time because I haven't yet gotten into a routine for the new semester. On the plus side, I've done a much better job of making sure weekends include time away from work, a habit that has taken me quite a while to develop. 

Conducting business from home with a pandemic hanging over our heads has been exhausting for all of us, not just the people in my house. The rules keep changing, leaving us trying to hit a moving target, which only adds to the exhaustion. Determining what we need and communicating it to those who share our space is key to not letting the guilt and frustration win. It's taken me a while (and a meltdown and a good cry), but I think I've figured it out.

How about you? What do you need? And how can you make it happen?

Choosing Back to School Tools

 

pixabay.com

I'm revisiting a post from the archives this week for those of you who are doing back-to-school shopping. One of the good things about online learning? No official school supply lists, which frees you and your kids to find the tools that work for them, instead of one-size-fits-all school supplies. Here are a few ideas to get you started.

Have you ever watched a left-handed person try to take notes in a traditional spiral notebook? It's almost painful. The angle is wrong, the spiral's in the wrong place, and even the neatest handwriting approaches illegibility as fatigue and frustration take over.

That's how it feels to be a non-traditional organizer using traditional school supplies. While everyone around you slides papers neatly onto binder rings or into the pockets of folders, you just never manage to make things work as neatly and effortlessly.

So...why buy those supplies?

If you've got a kiddo (or two) at your house whose notebooks and folders look like they've been through a natural disaster somewhere between school and home, help them adapt their supplies to their styles. 

Ways to adapt a binder:

• Buy a portable three-hole punch to put in the front of the notebook.
• Load the binder with page protectors so unpunched papers make it into the notebook. Or, if that's not gonna happen with your cram and jammer or drop and run organizer, try folder pockets (hole-punched inserts that look like a pocket folder opened up and folded back) or a three-ring acetate envelope with a snap or Velcro fastener.

  

  When I taught Organizing by STYLE
  to an elementary school audience,
  I found that clamp binders were a
  huge hit with fifth grade boys.
  Photo: staples.com

• Add a clip to the front of the binder so the day's papers get clipped inside the cover and can be added to the right section of the notebook at home.
• Ditch the three-ring binder for one with a spring-loaded clamp. Kids who don't take the time to put stuff into the rings sometimes enjoy putting papers away when they have an excuse to play with the clamp.
• Replace the binder with an accordion folder. Choose one that's divided into sections, or one with just one wide, yawning opening, depending on your child's style.

What to use instead of a standard-issue, paper pocket folder:

• A file folder. Like pocket folders, these come in a variety of colors, and can be color-coded by subject. If the papers aren't going to go in the pockets anyway, why create an unnecessary battle?
• Transparent folders that allow kids to personalize them (photos show through the opening) or see what's inside. These also come in a variety of colors, with and without pockets.
• A folder that has top and side access and a tab closure at the top. Multi-colored (again). Never underestimate the value of being able to play with an organizational tool. The more fun it is to put something away, the more likely it is it'll get there.
• Clear acetate envelopes with string-tie and button closures. Sold at office supply stores, these often come in multi-packs that make them less expensive per item. 

avery.com

Admittedly, these choices are often more expensive and harder to come by, but in many cases, the time and heartache saved makes it worth the extra cash and detective work -- and sometimes, you actually luck out and find cool tools at the dollar store or the clearance racks. When I taught lessons in elementary school classrooms, I brought a variety of supplies in for kids to play with and had them trouble-shoot potential issues. They were amazingly astute when it came to figuring out what they would and would not use, and they often loved things that cost a dollar or less (colorful report folders with hinged closures were a big hit) as much as the more expensive office supply items. 

As you discuss back-to-school shopping with your child, use this summary sheet to talk about options and highlight his or her choices. Having him (or her) talk through the choices is an important part of getting your child to understand his or her styles, and eventually, to advocate for them. When we teach our kids to respectfully advocate for themselves, we're teaching a skill that goes far beyond organization.

So before you and your credit card hit the stores and start checking off items on that list of traditional school supplies, take a moment to make sure you're supplying your child with the tools he or she needs to have a great year.