3 Keys Thursday: 3 Keys to Ditching Those Questionable Clothes

Dodgerton Skillhause via Morguefile

Yesterday, I was forced to face my closet. Warm spring temperatures had me digging for clothing I hadn't worn in a while, not just because of the season, but because of the outfit I chose to kick off the season in.

Today, I went to work in a shirt I promised myself I was wearing for the last time. It was...okay, but I have better options and, as long as this one is in there, I'm going to end up wearing it again and feeling just as dissatisfied. 

Do you have difficulty weeding out your closet? Not sure if a questionable item should go or stay? Here are three key items to say goodbye to.

• Clothes that are falling apart. No matter how much you love it, if it’s frayed, torn or beyond repair, it’s time to say goodbye. 
• Clothes that no longer flatter. My shirt today was a notable example. It was...okay and since it was under a jacket, I could get away with it. But when we wear clothes that are less than flattering we don't feel as good as we do when we wear things we love. Tonight, the shirt is in the hamper. After it's laundered, it's going into the donation box. 
• Clothes that have seen better days. Black tank tops turned navy/gray. White tee shirts turned gray/yellow. Wardrobe basics -- the things we reach for on a regular basis -- are often the things we hang on to the longest -- even when they're past their prime. When the wardrobe staples start showing their age, it's time to add them to the shopping list. And, when we get home with the new stuff, the old stuff needs to go.

Sounds simple, right? It is. But that doesn't mean there aren't obstacles.

Steve A. Johnson via Pixabay

As for me, I don’t like a feeling of scarcity. I like to feel like I have options. These choices may sound obvious, but if we have an emotional attachment to an article of clothing or to that sense of having a wide variety of choices (some of us just don’t like wearing the same thing over and over again) it can be hard to do even with seems obvious.

So, start where you can, and practice one in/one out (getting rid of something old when you buy something new) as often as possible. Then, even the change of seasons can't throw you for a loop.

Clothing Conundrum

sardenacarlo via Pixabay

Yesterday, the temperature leapt into the upper 70s. It was a lovely, sunshiney spring day.

And I had nothing to wear.

Okay, that's not exactly true. I had a new skirt all picked out. This was a big deal, as I rarely wear dresses and skirts in any time but the summer. Consequently, I had mentally prepared most of my outfit.

Most apparently being the operative word.

By the time I finished putting together an outfit I was happy with, I had to race to class, leaving my bed strewn with belts and other discarded items of clothing.

But mostly belts.

I wear a belt even more rarely than I wear a skirt and there were plenty of belts on that overloaded hanger that were past their prime -- a state of affairs I probably should have anticipated before I got dressed.

Okay. Well, I kind of did. I'd mentally picked out a belt the night before, except that when I went to put it on yesterday it was...you guessed it.

Past its prime.

As someone with an I need to see it personal style, leaving the belts strewn on the bed was probably the best, if not the most organized, way for me to leave the room. It guaranteed that, when I got changed, I'd sort through those belts -- or at least some of them -- thinning the herd and increasing the likelihood that the ones that remained were at least serviceable.

Although I was a little frustrated by this whole process, it benefited me as well. Trying to objectively sort through possessions, deciding which to keep and which to abandon can be a challenging task. For me, with clothing in particular, it's easiest to get rid of something when I've tried it on and discarded it, leaving it abandoned on the bed.

I'm still hanging on to way too many belts "just in case," partly because I'm mourning the loss of the one I had to discard, as it was the most interesting one of the bunch. But, I now know that this is something I need to upgrade in my wardrobe, along with the tops that didn't make the cut for yesterday's outfit. I've learned that having something that's a better fit all around (fit-wise and style-wise) makes it much easier to toss the things that no longer work, include the "almost right" staples that I allow to take up space for far longer than they should. Informed by what didn't work, it's now easier to make a shopping list made up of what I know will work and to eliminate many unsuitable choices at a glance.

How's your spring wardrobe shaping up? Is it time for an intervention?

3 Keys to Setting REAL Goals

Dodgerton Skillhause via Morguefile

As it turns out, teaching three classes and getting a book ready for publication is enough to fill -- and, some days, overload -- a schedule. This embarrassment of riches has led me to go in search of blogs worth re-posting on days like today when fresh content is simply too elusive.

So, if spring has motivated you to set some goals, but big, fat, hairy goals seem too overwhelming for a season where the days are longer and things feel lighter, I invite you to consider the possibility of REAL goals.

There's more than one way to set a goal. While I teach my students to set SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time-bound) and I try to do the same, I've discovered that sometimes a less structured goal can work just as well.

Is this just an excuse for laziness? It could be. But I think that, in specific circumstances, a "mushy" goal can work just as well. When the thing we're aiming to do is meaningful (especially if just doing it is rewarding) and we're striving to fit it into our lives in an unstructured kind of way (e.g. to merely do more of something), a REAL goal (yes, I just made that up)* is less likely to backfire.

What's a REAL goal?

Reasonable (we can imagine incorporating this into our lives)
Enticing      (we are motivated to incorporate this into our lives)
Attainable   (we can reasonably carve out a small space of time to make this happen)
Limited       (we can enrich our lives even by doing this only a little at a time)

Here are 3 keys to setting and achieving a REAL goal:

• Make it meaningful. A REAL goal should be something you want to do because it matters to you. It should not be something someone else wants you to do or something you think you should do. REAL goals are just for you.

• Make it accessible. When I made a Lenten resolution to read more, I put my Kindle in my purse so that wherever my purse went, books did, too. At home, I made sure to leave my print books and magazines where I could see them (not all of them at once, of course). In addition to making it easy to grab reading material, even when I had only a few minutes, visibility served as a reminder to make time for my REAL goal.

• Accept the ebb and flow. If you want a structured goal that makes you accountable on a regular basis, set a SMART goal. If you want to gradually integrate something of importance into your life, set a REAL goal. Because REAL goals are not time-bound, it's fine if we spend five minutes on them one day, fifteen minutes the next and, some days, we neglect them entirely. The fact that REAL goals are motivating in and of themselves works in their favor, nudging us to go back to them if we spend too much time away.

REAL goals weave richness into our lives by giving us the opportunity to step back and think about the things that matter to us. When our days seem like endless to-do lists, it's hard to imagine that will ever change, and it can be a daily challenge to find time to do the things that make us uniquely who we are. REAL goals encourage us to do just that.

*I did a quick search to see if REAL goals were already a thing, just not a thing I'd heard of. A couple of people have written about the concept of real goals, but I found nothing that matches my description.


Click here to request a free PDF on THREE KEYS TO SUCCESSFUL GOAL SETTING.

Book Swag and Free PDFs

Last week at this time, as I was trying to motivate myself to dig into exams that needed grading, I got a wonderful distraction that did nothing to increase my motivation for grading.

My book swag arrived.

I now have post cards, book marks, stickers and a lovely poster for book signings. And I'm happy to share almost all of them. (Everything except the poster).

If you'd like a post card, a book mark or a sticker, use the contact form at right to send me your mailing address and I'll drop them in the mail.

Working hard to keep get piles in control at your house? Not really in need of any swag? I might still have something for you. Use the contact form at right to request FREE PDFs on organizational myths, goal-setting, and using your personal and organizational styles. For those, all I need is an email address.

And if you want to preorder the book, just click on any of the links below.

Preorder from Barnes & Noble

Preorder from Amazon

Preorder from OSV

3 Keys Thursday: 3 Keys to Lifting the Cloud of Overwhelm

Dodgerton Skillhause via Morguefile

It seems to me that I'm always busy. Honestly, I'm not sure I know how to be any other way. But lately, I've been feeling overwhelmed before I even start some days.

Too many days.

I'm absolutely certain that I'm not alone in this, just as I'm absolutely certain that I possess the skills to change my outlook from overwhelmed to extremely well-occupied (I'm an optimist, but I'm also  realistic). The trouble is, when I'm overwhelmed, my head may believe I can conquer the feeling, but it's my emotions that are running the show.

So yesterday morning, I asked for some divine guidance in constructing a map out of the low-lying fog of overwhelm that descends lower and lower as the week progresses. It didn't take long for me to find my first clue. When I sat down at my desk, there it was.

Beside my laptop was a small notepad -- one that was there by design so I could jot down short-term or non-essential bits of information. The name of a TED Talk someone recommended. An attribution for a photo I was using in a blog post. The kind of information that I needed in the moment but that wasn't permanent or time-sensitive enough to make it to a to-do list. It wasn't supposed to be another to-do list, but it showed every sign of becoming just that.

I didn't need another to-do list. I had enough already.

That's when it hit me. I already had systems in place. I just wasn't using them.

Which is precisely why I felt overwhelmed. In short order, I figured out three steps I could take right away.

Simplify. My multiple to-do lists weren't doing me any favors. My here-a-list, there-a-list, everywhere-a-list-list approach was a major contributor to the cloud hanging over me because everywhere I turned, there was either something to do or a list of things to do.

No wonder I felt overwhelmed.

The thing was, I had a system, so I'd already determined the "how" piece of simplifying. It was time to...

Do a routine check. This was as simple as asking myself if I had a method in place for dealing with my lists. I do. And it works -- but only if I use it. A combination of busyness and laziness had led me to a series of quick fixes, which left me feeling....

You guessed it. Overwhelmed.

It took me about two seconds to recognize that returning to my routine would lift the cloud, at least part of the way. If there had been no routine or if the routine I had in place wasn't working, I'd need to do some strategizing and planning but, in this case, it was as simple as returning to good habits instead of investing in bad ones.

And, with that in mind, there was one more thing I could do to nudge that cloud up a little higher.

Do what works. Returning to my routine was the biggest step in this direction, but I also needed to give myself permission to go back to the T in STYLE and Take small steps. Part of the reason I felt overwhelmed was that my goals weren't realistic. No matter what I do, there will only ever be 24 hours in a day, so planning 26 hours of activities not only doesn't make sense, but is also guaranteed make me feel overwhelmed. Remembering small, simple steps like Give it Five! and Don't put it down, put it away! helps me keep moving forward without creating more to do as I go.

And, since feeling overwhelmed can be, well, overwhelming, I'm including a bonus key this week.

Map photo: Erika Wittlieb via Pixabay

Ask for help/delegate. I thought of these strategies while I was in the shower and had nothing to write with (white soap on a white shower shell is pretty much invisible and the conditioner was uncooperative). Luckily, my husband was in the kitchen and I called out to him  to "write this down!" which he did without asking a single question. And, the thing is, he'd do more stuff, too, but he can't read my mind. I have to ask.

Even if your personal style is I love to be busy, there are times when the busyness can get overwhelming. When this happens, it's time to take stock, trust yourself and your styles and do the things you know work for you, even if they seem counterproductive (or even wrong) to someone else. We need our styles most when we feel overwhelmed because they create the map that works best for us whether it's a direct route, a well-traveled route or a winding dirt road that only we can navigate.

Bookish Inspiration

freephotocc via Pixabay

I've been listening to -- and greatly enjoying -- Michelle Obama's book, Becoming. One day last week, as I was driving home from work, she was talking about her husband working on the second draft of his first book:

"He worked late at night in a small room we'd converted to a study at the rear of our apartment -- a crowded, book-strewn bunker I referred to lovingly as 'the hole.'"

Hmm.

She went on to say that she's come to the conclusion that he needs that sort of space -- "a closed-off little warren where he can read and write undisturbed....Time spent there seems to fuel him....any quiet corner or alcove will do....There, he can flip between the six or seven books he's reading simultaneously...."

Okay, wait a minute. This man, the former President of the United States, has an office that looks like mine? He intentionally creates that type of a work space wherever he goes? And reads multiple books at the same time?

I felt oddly validated, despite the fact that Michelle Obama insists on a door on each of these spaces so she doesn't have to look at the room that lies beyond the door.

President Obama and I were both born in August so, maybe it's a Leo thing.

Or maybe it's a style thing.

Though I would like my own I need to see it/drop and run-driven space to be a little less cluttered, I was positively gleeful to discover that a highly intelligent, Ivy-educated, accomplished former President is not only perfectly happy in a space that is, by Type A organizer standards, disorganized -- closed-door worthy, even! -- but seeks to create that sort of haven, even when on vacation.

When it comes to organization, I'm not seeking to emulate President Obama any more than I'm seeking to emulate my Type A friends who swear by binders and file cabinets. I'm just pointing to anecdotal evidence that it's possible to look disorganized by Type A standards and still accomplish a lot. 

Even better, perhaps we accomplish a lot because of the spaces we create, not in spite of them. I've heard, "I don't know how you can work in here" more than once. The truth is, some days, I don't either. But whenever I re-envision or re-design my workspace, personal items and visual inspiration are a part of the package. Sterile office spaces may look lovely, but they're just not my thing.

We shouldn't have to rationalize our styles -- we should revel in them. As unique individuals, we should set the standards for our spaces based on what makes us comfortable, what what inspires us, and what, to use former First Lady Michelle Obama's word "fuels" us.

Even if sometimes, we have to close the door.

nietjuh via Pixabay

As an I need to see it person, I know that no matter how many times I clear off my desk, it will never be completely empty. Too much stuff interferes with my concentration, but too little stuff results in a desk devoid of personality and that just doesn't fuel me.

This afternoon, I hope to assess my desk (funny how these posts inspire) and to give serious consideration to every item on it. Some things are here out of habit. Others are here for a purpose and still others add a playfulness to the space that, as a creative person, I find essential.

What does your haven look like? Is it an endless stretch of clear space, a home for neatly stacked piles or a mishmash of I need to see it task reminders? What interferes and what inspires?

Whatever your haven is, make it intentionally yours.

Your space, your styles, your rules.

3 Keys Thursday: 3 Keys to Dealing with those Piles

Dodgerton Skillhause via Morguefile

Yesterday, I wrote about my ubiquitous piles (and not for the first time). Though I'm pretty sure as an I need to see it/drop and run person, I will never lead a pile-free existence, I also know there are strategies I can try to keep the piles at bay or under control. Here are three of them.

Pick up as I go. When I'm tired and/or overwhelmed, I have to work a lot harder to overcome my drop and run organizational style. Knowing this, I also know that I need to make it a point to pick up as I go or finish one thing before beginning another, so piles don't get started in the first place. If my night owl self can't manage this when I drop a pile onto the table before I go to bed, my next recourse should be to pick it up and put it where it belongs as early as possible the next day.

Play to my strengths. If I'm going to start a pile (and, let's face it, as someone with an I need to see it personal style, it's pretty much inevitable that will happen sometimes), I need to keep them as under control as possible. Keeping the piles small (and therefore easy to attack) and/or minimal keeps things looking neater. Even better, choosing a brightly colored and/or labeled folder or container in which to house my pile(s) keeps things looking more organized and still calls out to me to tackle what's inside.

Give it five! When piles emerge, as they inevitably will, chipping away at them a little at at time can help keep things under control. Taking just five minutes to sort and/or consolidate piles can help to ensure that they don't take over all of the flat surfaces in my house.

I wish I could make the acquisition of piles in my house a zero sum game, but that's just not realistic. Knowing this is the case, I need to make sure to do all I can within my styles to be the master of my piles rather than letting them take over.