Then and Now: When It's All Too Much

 Then: Did you ever have one of those days?

Thursdays are the days the week begins to catch up with me any week, even when I've figured out the school/life/writing/blogging balance for whatever semester I'm in.

I have not yet done that.

Until we can make the world stop when we do, feeling overwhelmed from time to time is inevitable. Knowing what to do when that feeling strikes can help us to take charge and feel a little less out of control. For me, this "take charge" approach includes:

Taking baby steps. When it's all too much, we start feeling the need to slay big dragons. Unfortunately, the pressure to get it all done at once, even if it's self-imposed, only contributes to that feeling of too much to do in too little time. Putting one foot in front of the other and taking one thing at a time can create a sense of accomplishment as we erase all of those little tasks from our to-do lists, one by one.

Prioritizing. As we approach each of those small tasks, it's important to ask ourselves if the baby steps we're taking are leading us in the direction of something that must be done now or something that can wait. While we have the luxury of mixing it up when we're not in a time crunch, we need to focus first on the here and now when we've hit the panic button. When we're overwhelmed, baby steps that make progress on a project due in two weeks may be less useful than the ones we take on the stuff that's due tomorrow.

Using the plan. In an effort to find shortcuts and super solutions, we often get in our own way. When this happens, we need to stop, step back and assess the plan(s) we have at our disposal. If they work on a day-to-day basis, they might just be the life raft we're looking for when seas get stormy. Choose the most appropriate plan and put it into action. Even a semblance of a plan can help us feel less out of control.

In a few weeks, I will have settled into a routine. Until then, it's one baby step at a time. 

Now: Yesterday, I hit the wall of overwhelm, even though it was a Wednesday, not a Thursday. And, while I still stand by all of the baby steps above, sometimes what we really need is to step back and take a break. While we don't always have that opportunity, it's often less out of reach than we realize. Yesterday, I couldn't figure out what was wrong, let alone why I was so upset and overwhelmed. Today, the answer was clear. I was exhausted by a pile-up of tasks and emotions. 

Today was a better day -- much better. But it wouldn't have been without the break I took yesterday to reset. 

Too often, we interpret down time as a luxury or a weakness. Instead, maybe we should embrace it for what it really is: a sign of being human and reaching our limits. And maybe if we were more open to the interpretation, we could cut those feelings of overwhelm off at the pass.

Maybe.

3 Key Reasons Not to Do it All in One Day

 Organizing projects are one of my favorite things to do. So much so that when I get a break from school, they rise to the top of things I want to do with my free time.

But, over time, I've learned not to try to cram huge projects into one day. Here's why.

1. Age, pure and simple. The biggest reason (and the one I most want to deny) is that I'm no longer 20-something (or even 50-something) and overdoing it exhausts me. In the midst of the project, I'll think I have plenty of time and energy to see it through, but the feeling of "okay, I'm finished now" sneaks up on me pretty quickly and usually when I'm standing amid piles of things that need to be sorted and put away. Consequently I've learned to set goals that seem too small, knowing they will blossom into tasks that are bigger than I expected. Even if you're younger and more energetic than I am, reasonable goals make the task much more pleasant, and make it much more likely we'll reach the finish line.
2. Mental exhaustion. Decision fatigue is a real thing and the longer the project goes on, the more likely it is to set in. When you find yourself staring at that thing in your hand and thinking I really don't care where it goes, it's time to wrap things up. Past time, actually, but until we can turn back time. we have to do what we can do.
3. Too much change. Invariably, the organizing projects that go on and on are the ones where we end up relocating things. Too much relocation in too short a time frame creates unsustainable systems and that place for that thing that seemed so logical in hour three quickly becomes forgettable by the time we need to retrieve it. If you need a treasure map to keep track of all the changes you've made, you've gone too far.

Those of us who have to work to stay organized may already have a complicated history with the task. Taking small steps and letting things go in time frames that work for us can make the difference between successfully organizing and resentfully organizing. There's no sense in making an essential task painful. Listen to your heart and your body, and tackle the task in a time frame the works for you.

23 Organizing Tasks for 2023

 If you're like me (and much of the rest of the world), you made some sort of resolution to get organized in 2023. Because I write about organizing and have time off from the middle of December to the middle of January, I've made a lot of progress on my organizing endeavors. 

But still, I focus on what remains to be done, not the least of which is the pile of items made homeless by my recent organizing projects. 

Some days, I look around my house and see a lot of organizing successes. Other days, I'm overwhelmed by all of the clutter that seems to collect and proliferate as soon as I look the other way.

That's when it's time to take small steps. Whether you're way ahead of schedule on your 2023 plans, or still at the starting line, you're sure to find one task in the list of 23 tasks below that can help jump-start your resolution. Some are one-and-done tasks (at least for this year), while others may turn out to be starting points for larger projects. Remember that it's okay not to do it all one sitting. The key is to take small steps and to remember one thing.

It's a process.

23 Organizing Projects for 2023

1. Decide what your perfect planner looks like inside and out. Then, splurge on one that comes as close as possible to your ideal.

2. Clean out the junk drawer.

3. Clear off surfaces, clean them well and put things back mindfully, putting back only the things you choose to return.

4. Collect all the homeless items littering surfaces in your home and put them in one container. Put a sticky note with the date on the lid, and put that container in an accessible but out-of-sight location. In a month (or longer if you prefer), donate or toss anything remaining in the container. 

5. Dedicate 15 minutes to decluttering a space that annoys you.

6. Stare down a container that's not working and consider why you are using it. What do you love about it? What do you wish it had that it doesn't? 

7. Sort through the thickest file in your file cabinet and get rid of anything you no longer need to keep.

8. Change the shelf paper in one of your cabinets.

9. Clean out your underwear drawer and get rid of anything you'd be embarrassed to be wearing if you ended up in the emergency room.

10. Stand in the doorway of the room you spend the most time in. What decorative touch or organizing project would make the space a little better?

11. Go through the medicine cabinet and get rid of anything that's expired. Make a list of what you need to replace.

12. Go through your makeup and/or toiletries and get rid of anything that's expired or that you haven't used in a year or more (3 months for eye makeup). Make a list of what you want to replace.

13. Take stock of your towels. Decide how many need replacing and buy one new towel a week until you'd be satisfied offering any of the towels in your closet to an overnight guest.

14. Set aside an hour to take stock of the place in your house that most needs organizing (kids' rooms don't count). Make a plan for tackling it an hour at a time.

15. Take everything out of the cabinet under the kitchen (or bathroom) sink. Clean the area and replace only the products you actually use. 

16. Stand in the doorway of your bedroom. What is one thing you could do to make it a more peaceful haven? 

17. Have everyone in the family go through his or her sock drawer. Toss anything that's too small, falls down, has holes, or is too pilly, dingy or faded. Set aside socks without a mate and determine how long to continue the search and/or if any of the singletons can be put together to make an interesting pair.

18. Make sure all the pens in your go-to writing or messages spaces write, and all of the pencils have points and erasers.

19. Take everything off one shelf of one closet. Wipe down the shelf and put back only the things worth keeping.

20. Go through all the purses, tote bags and backpacks. Keep only those worth keeping. 

21. Work together with each child in the house to organize one space according to their style. 

22. Take everything out of the refrigerator. Toss anything that's expired. Wipe down the interior and put back only the food people actually eat.

23. Stand at the entrance to your home. What is one small touch you could add that would make you smile every time you walk in?

idamkilde via Pixabay

Strategies that Work Across Styles

 If you've been reading this blog for more than five minutes, you know that organizing by STYLE is about choosing the strategies that work with our personal and organizational styles. But, sometimes, there are super strategies -- ways of doing things that work across all (or at least most) personal and organizational styles. 

Here are three of my favorites. 

Consistent locations. One aspect of my mom's favorite organizational maxim ("a place for everything and everything in its place"), logical, consistent homes are time savers. If we know where it goes and we get in the habit of putting it there (no matter what "it" is), we don't waste time and energy searching every nook and cranny for the thing we need.

Give it 5. Have an overwhelming task? Set a timer for five minutes and tackle it. You won't finish, but you'll make a dent, and, once you get started, you just might keep going and get more done than you expected. Getting started is often the hardest part, and promising ourselves to work for just five minutes can help us clear that hurdle, 

Backwards to-do list. Some days, we have to make a special effort to focus on our accomplishments. Those are backwards to-do list days -- days when, instead of writing down what we need to do, we write down what we've accomplished as we accomplish it. A load of laundry in the washer? Jot it down. Dinner in the slow cooker? Add it to the list. One shelf in the closet reorganized? Write it down. At the end of the day, instead of having a partially checked-off list, we have a list of everything we've done. It's a small difference in list-making that can make a big difference in motivation and that can help us to focus on what we've accomplished instead of what we've left undone.

How about you? What's your go-to organizational strategy?

Happy Rubber Ducky Day!

 In honor of Rubber Ducky Day, I'm reposting a favorite Wednesday True Confessions post -- even though it's not Wednesday.

True Confession #48: Sometimes, it's hard to accept our styles. 

Although the heart of organizing by style is embracing our default styles and building from there, let's face it: sometimes, it's hard to let go of what we think we should be doing. When we come up against an organizing challenge and someone suggests a tried-and-true tool like a binder or a file cabinet, we might be comfortable saying they don't work for us, but still a bit sensitive to the eye-roll or argument that may follow. 

I mean, those tools work for everyone, right?

Only they don't. And finding what does can be a challenge. It can require reconfigurations that we love but others don't understand. (Just ask my husband what he thinks of my open-top files in the family room). It can reinforce the idea that, for us, organizing hasn't always been second-nature.

Only it can be. 

I've been organizing by style for thirteen years and I don't miss filing cabinets at all. In fact, I've even been known to invite the occasional pretty, visually appealing binder back into my office, provided it follows my rules. And, while I still revert to piling when things get busy or I'm in the middle of an organizing project, it's a temporary stopgap measure, not an organizational system. Most of all, I protect clear space now with a ferocity I didn't know I had when it came to organization, and I'm immune to the eyeballs of my audience when I do so.

Never come between a Jersey girl and her clear space.

I know I've said it hundreds of times before, but organizing is a process. But, the process of accepting ourselves as we are -- whether it comes to organizing or anything else -- isn't always easy or fast. So, let me ask you this: is organizing by style working for you? 

If it is, keep doing what you're doing because it only gets easier with practice.

And, while you're at it, tell that inner voice that's making it hard for you to accept your styles (Your parents? Your sixth grade teacher? That girl in your math class who always had everything together and got straight As?) that you've got this. 

The more you tell them, and the better you get at this, the more you'll believe it, and the better you'll get at strengthening perhaps the most important organizing tool of all. 

Self-confidence.

You've got this.

It All Began with a Backsplash

 Last week, we had a new backsplash installed in our kitchen. In preparation, I had to clear off all the counters.

Talk about an exercise in not seeing what's right in front of you. The collection of baskets, appliances, spices and other sundry items that lived on my countertops filled a sizable portion of my dining room table. And that was without the toaster oven, which contributed to the cause by dying right before the process began. 

When the backsplash was finished, I started slowly adding items back onto the counters. Surely not all of this needed to go back?

No, it did not. But that was good news and bad news. Whatever didn't go back onto the counter needed to go somewhere else. 

And thus began my latest exercise in domino organizing.

I'm not complaining. In fact, it's kind of exciting. One of the things I love about time off from work is that I get to do things like this without feeling as though I should be doing something else. Not only do I feel productive, but everything looks better and functions better when I'm finished. 

Or it doesn't, and I know I need to find a new solution. Either way, things improve.

As of this writing, the tally of reconfigured spaces is five drawers and two bins, not counting a few side projects that sprouted from this one. 

I'm going to need a map to find things in my kitchen and dining room.

Each of these projects has left odds and ends in its wake. Consequently, the next activity is finding homes for all of those things. I've been playing the pick-one-up-and-put-it-away game for several days now, grabbing an object as I pass by and deciding where it needs to go. 

You might think I'm tired of organizing at this point, but that assumption would be incorrect. The resulting clear space and de-cluttering only leaves me hungry for more. My reward? Clear space and piles of stuff I no longer need that can be ditched or donated.  

Sometimes, it takes upending the status quo to see a better way to do things. 

And I love the new backsplash.

But I have no idea where that new toaster oven is going to go. 

Organizing FAQs: How do I Fix My Organizing Trouble Spots?

 One of the things I look forward to doing over my breaks between semesters is digging into organizing projects. You might think that someone who writes about organization doesn't have many of those, but there are always a few on my list. Organizing is a dynamic process, and refreshing our organizational systems is a bit like redecorating a room. We don't need to start from scratch, but a little refresh works wonders.

This isn't the case with every organizing project, though. While most of my organizing projects consist of sorting though piles created by the collision of my drop and run organizational style, my I need to see it personal style and too much to do in too little time, I still have spaces where the organizational systems I'm using aren't quite right. In most cases, the system I'm using seemed right at the time, but isn't cutting it for the long haul.

When that happens, there are a few things I need to consider.

• Am I the only one using this space? We have multiple personal and organizational styles at work at my house. If someone else also needs to use the system I've set up, they might not like (or use) the same tools I'd select. Sometimes I can find another option (often a compromise); other times, I simply need to take on ownership of the space and whatever tool(s) I've chosen. I could simply reiterate the rules (and sometimes I do), but I have to decide which is more important: the relationship or the organizing principle.

• Is it the right container? Many of us who struggle to get/stay organized are still using traditional tools even though they aren't a good fit. Sometimes this happens because we're sharing an organizational task (a shared file cabinet when one spouse likes this option but the other has an I need to see it personal style). Other times, we simply haven't found a good substitute. In the second scenario, we need to consider what we need that our current tool doesn't have, and choose a replacement accordingly.

• Is the container the right size? I have enough experience to have learned that I need to select containers with room to grow but, sometimes, I still get sucked in by a tool that calls out to me. Such was the case with the home I selected for my school folders, a lovely gray flannel letter holder that was woefully unprepared for the deluge of papers my drop and run organizational style piled there over the course of a semester. While my end-of-semester purge made it less of a leaning tower of folders, it lacks the requisite room to grow, leaving me with two choices: keep on top of the folders so they don't overrun the container, or choose a deeper container.

• Is this a time or seasonal issue? There's a reason I end my semesters with a list of organizing projects. The busyness that accompanies the end of each semester can make it hard for me to keep up with (or be motivated to do) organizational tasks. This can also happen in busy seasons (Christmas, for example) or seasons of life (e.g. leading up to or following a major life event). Even the best of systems is no match for exhaustion or a dearth of time. If we're able to restore order quickly once we have time to attack the piles, it's likely the systems aren't to blame. But, if they are, there's nothing like a dedicated organizing session to expose the weak spots in the system and motivate us to shore them up.

No matter the system or tool that we select, organizing is never a one-and-done proposition. Every space will eventually need sorting and refreshing as we endeavor to maintain a balance between what comes into our homes and what gets to stay there. While a temporarily overwhelmed container may not necessitate going back to the drawing board, any container that leaves us feeling overwhelmed should be ditched in favor of something better. 

Wondering which containers might be a good fit for you? Check out the Charts tab at the top of this blog.