When Life Changes, Does the Organizing Magic Fade?

 When Know Thyself came out, Marie Kondo was all the rage. I was launching a book and she was launching a Netflix series. She was guest starring on late night TV and I was guest starring at my local Starbucks.

Formidable competition indeed. We weren't even in the same league.

A few months ago, I read that Marie Kondo has given up on tidiness. Now that she's a parent, her priorities have shifted, and time with her kids trumps the magic of tidying up, no matter how life-changing it might once have been. 

I've been pondering this post for quite a while, trying to find the right tone -- one that is gracious and compassionate rather than snarky and know-it-all but, the truth is, I can't help but feel a little smug. While I can't argue with her priorities, I'm a bit surprised that she didn't plan for this eventuality -- the day when she'd have to master the art of being both tidy and parental. 

In all fairness, I can't imagine that Marie Kondo has gone from tidy to tornado. But her book, like so many others in the organizing genre, fell prey to a central idea that marketers love, but living, breathing humans with full lives and families quickly recognize as a trap. That idea?

There is only one way to do this right.

Organization has to be sustainable, which means it needs to be flexible. It needs to account for the life you're living now, and the one you'll be living in six months, two years, five years, or more. It needs to take into account what is consistent, and what isn't, and be able to adjust to those changes.

What's consistent? You are. How you think and how you approach life should be built into how you organize. As your life changes, your systems may change, too, but they should change with you. It's exhausting to go back to the drawing board and rethink tidiness every time you move, grow, change, or add family members. 

I'm teetering dangerously on the edge of judgy here, so let me say this. Marie Kondo (who seems like a perfectly charming and lovely person) did a lot of good for a lot of people. But if you, like me, are not one of those people, that's okay. Life changes, and we change, which is why one method of organizing does not work for everyone, and any book that promises you a one-size-fits-all answer is, in my opinion, a temporary fix, at best. 

Organizing aside, there are two things I wanted readers to take away from Know Thyself: 

1. No matter how much clutter is in your life, you are neither hopelessly disorganized nor broken. There is a way forward.
2. When it comes to organizing, as with so many other things, one size does not fit all. Your organizing systems should be developed around you: your uniqueness, your foibles, your habits, your life, and your family -- no matter its size.
   

I've never met Marie Kondo, but I suspect we agree on #1, and even on some elements of #2. But if life changes send you back to the organizing drawing board, perhaps it's time to find a plan that has the potential to grow and change right along with you.